The Story That NEVER Ends
by y a k o s o k u
Summary: So... its so random that I can't even begin to write a summary. You name it and its probably in here. You'll just have to be brave and take a look. Lots of character bashing so beware. Tehe.
1. TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!

**A Random Story with a Random Title**

**A Kingdom.Writer Origional**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KINGDOM HEARTS! GET IT THROUGH YOUR SKULL!**

**Notes: I was bored?**

'Sunglasses... check.' Sora mentally noted. He tried to act all cool and place the glasses on his face but only ended up poking himself in the eye, "Ouch." He looked around the corner and saw no-one. Well, duh- no one was home... but Sora- having the attention span of a small rodent had forgotten what his mother had said when she left.

Sora jumped back in the room, with his glasses on the right way and looked at his target, one of those spinny-really-comfortable-teachers-always-have-them-office-chairs. He ran up to it and jumped on the seat trying to stay standing but... well, Sora isnt very coordinated...

Sora screamed a very girly scream and fell flat on his back. He shook his head and then jolted up and looked angrily at the chair, "This time, its personal!"

Meanwhile, Riku and Kairi had been goofing off at the beach near Sora's home. Kairi sighed and looked at her power-ranger watch, "I have to go now... I have to babysit Sora today."

Riku groaned as a protest, "But we were gonna go stalk Whitney Houston next! That is our favorite game!"

Kairi nodded, "I know, but you remember last time Sora was left by himself- right?"

Riku tilted his head and the screen got all blurry as he entered a flash back. Riku screamed another girly scream, "IM MELTING!!!!!!!"

Kairi rolled her eyes, "IT'S A FLASHBACK YOU IDIOT!"

"Oh yeah. Ok." Riku nodded and concentrated at what he was remembering.

_Hello, and welcome to the twilight zone..._

Kairi hit Riku in the face, "I don't wanna see the inside of your brain- just the flashback! This is hopeless." Kairi pulled a remote out of her hat, which... just popped on her head when I typed this and pushed a button which shows the flashback.

_Sora ran down his hall in his socks and a spider-man outfit. He runs up to the railing and steps up onto it, "TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!" He shot out his hand like he were spider-man and_ _jumped off the reeeeeeeeealy big drop. As he was falling he flapped his wings an- when did Sora get wings? _

_Anyway. Sora fell and finally hit the ground and broke an arm. After that he was really confused and thought he was in a fire so he thought that water would make it all go away. So he ran up the stairs and turned on the bath._

_Go forward 12 hours and Kairi and Riku decide to see what Sora is into. They open the door and tons of water pour down on them. After both manage to get up from under the man-made current they see Sora paddling a canoe down his stairs, still in his spider-man outfit, "Aloha, me hardies! Come to seek out ol' Nessie have ye?"_

Riku shuddered as he remembered that day, "He still thinks he is living on Gilligan's island..."

Kairi sighed, "I know. So Whitney will have to wait."

**What will happen next? Will there be a repeat of the spider-man incident? REVIEW I BEG OF YOU! this i smy first 'funny' story so be nice. Keep in mind I am new. TY!**


	2. WE WANT MASHED POTATOES!

**A Random Story with a Random Title**

**A Kingdom.Writer Origional**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KINGDOM HEARTS! GET IT THROUGH YOUR SKULL!**

**Notes: I was bored?**

**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

_After both manage to get up from under the man-made current they see Sora paddling a canoe down his stairs, still in his spider-man outfit, "Aloha, me hardies! Come to seek out ol' Nessie have ye?"_

Riku shuddered as he remembered that day, "He still thinks he is living on Gilligan's island..."

Kairi sighed, "I know. So Whitney will have to wait."

**Now on to todays story:**

Kairi sighed as she watched Sora take his keyblade and continuously hit the spinny-really-comfortable-teachers-always-have-them-office-chair. Sora kept hitting it and hitting it until the keyblade sprouted leg and slapped Sora, "You know what? No. I am tired of this!"

Sora looked at the Keyblade with wide eyes, "Are you an oompa-loompa?"

The Keyblade stood on his legs and brushed off his William Shakespear pants. Kairi looked at the strange sight and noticed the Keyblade had now grown a moustache.

The thing hit Sora on the shin and looked insulted, "I most certainly AM NOT an OOMPA-LOOMPA! I am from BRITAIN! And my name is DERIK! Yes. And I am tired of you hitting me against the spinny-really-comfortable-teachers-always-have-them-office-chair."

Sora nodded, "Ok. So do you want some mashed potatoes?"

Derik smoothed out his moustache, "That would be fine."

"KAIRI!" Sora wined, "We want mashed potatoes!"

Kairi shot up from her seat, "Let me call Riku! Since I cant leave you for 5 minutes before you catch something on fire.

So Kairi called Riku and asked him to come over to help her babysit Sora, and.... his new friend... Derik.

Sora laid on his stomach and propped his head up with his hands as he listened to Derik rap about a pipe cleaner. Kairi sighed, 'at lease I don't have to keep him entertained'.

A knock came at the door and Kairi walked out of the room backwards because Sora was bound to do something the minute se looked away. She opened the door and in walked a guy who looked like he belonged in the Bahamas. The dude has curly brown dread-locks, dark sunglasses, a brightly color Hawaiian shirt, light tan shorts, a long leather matrix looking jacket, a Mary-Poppins hat and a parrot on his shoulder.

Kairi sighed, "Come on in Riku."

Riku shrugged and walked in to see Derik and Sora doing the electric slide, "WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING!?"

Derik looked at his best friend Sora then at the odd-looking Riku, "We are reciting Edgar Allen Poe poems while dancing the electric slide, what does it look like we are doing?"

"WELL YOU CANT BE DOING THE ELECTRIC SLIDE IF THERE ARE NO BANANNAS!"

Sora screamed.

Kairi looked at Sora, "What?"

Sora looked around him, "I thought I saw... I saw... A PICKLE!!!!"

Derik spun around quickly and changed into detective clothes, "Now Sora, what did this 'pickle' look like?"

Sora sniffed, "It.. It... it was ORANGE!" Sora drew in a breath, "And was about as big as Riku's head... and it had a stem...."

"I see...." Derik stopped drawing what he had been told. He made a tsk sound and turned it around, the picture looked like hamburger with legs.

Kairi rolled her eyes, "Its clearly a pumpkin that Sora saw."

"I think its Cher"

Riku looked at Sora and nodded in agreement, "Now that you mention it– I think I saw Cher in here too!"

Derik slammed the notebook shut, turned around quickly so he looked like William Shakespear again, "Then its settled. We are going to have an Easter egg hunt!"

**Will they find Cher? Will Riku find his lost purse. WILL KAIRI EVER MAKE THE STUPID MASHED POTATOES!?**


	3. Easter egg hunts, magical hamburgers and...

**A Random Story with a Random Title**

**A Kingdom.Writer Origional**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KINGDOM HEARTS! GET IT THROUGH YOUR SKULL!**

**Notes: I was bored?**

**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

"_I see...." Derik stopped drawing what he had been told. He made a tsk sound and turned it around, the picture looked like hamburger with legs._

_Kairi rolled her eyes, "Its clearly a pumpkin that Sora saw."_

"_I think its Cher"_

_Riku looked at Sora and nodded in agreement, "Now that you mention it– I think I saw Cher in here too!"_

_Derik slammed the notebook shut, turned around quickly so he looked like William Shakespear again, "Then its settled. We are going to have an Easter egg hunt!"_

**Today's Randomness:**

Kairi watched the whole scene them remembered three things, 1) She needed to make the mashed potatoes before someone got hurt, 2) She had never done a tap dance in her life and 3) She was being stalked by a rather large green bean.

She whipped around and kicked the green bean in the shin, "I HATE THE COLOR GREEN!"

The green bean unzipped the zipper on the back of her costume and it revealed none other than........ CHER!!!!!!

Sora looked up from his Easter-egg hunt and howled like a rabid wolf, "I SMELL CHER!"

Derik dropped his pink Easter-basket and screamed, "HALF-BREED!" ((if you don't know- that is one of her songs....))

Cher looked at them, "What?"

Riku gasped, "YOU'RE HALF GREEN-BEAN!"

Sora nodded, "You know what than means.... TIME FOR WILL & GRACE!"

Cher nodded and skipped over to the... couch that just happened to pop up. Ok... Sora did a doge roll and jumped up onto the spinny-really-comfortable-teachers-always-have-them-office-  
chair. Riku sprouted wings and flew over to the TV. Derik waddled over and watched Will & Grace.

Meanwhile Kairi was in Soras Kitchen making mashed potatoes. She opened the fridge doors and out flew a magical talking hamburger, "Hello- I am the magical Hambuger of Soras Refrigerator. They call me Hammy."

Kairi covered her mouth, "You are what Derik drew!"

Hammy looked at her, "What the heck is a Derik? Did Sora steal another puppy? If he did- I swear that kid is gonna get it! Every time he tries to feed me to it!"

"Actually- Derik is a talking Keyblade that is obsessed with William Shakespear. They're watching Will & Grace with Cher right now. Can you show me where the potatoes are?"

Meanwhile, Sora stood up for no apparent reason. And Riku squawked like a bird, sprouted his wings and broke a window with the shrill sound then flew out the window. Derik glanced at Riku leaving then offered popcorn to Cher.... ((where are they getting all this stuff?))

Kairi and Hammy spent about an hour mashed the potatoes then slapped them in a huge bowl and threw it at Sora and Derik.

Derik and Sora devoured it like crazy. Then... it started to rain... inside.... Thunder clapped outside and Sora screamed bloody murder.

Derik quickly turned and was in a rain-jacket now. Cher turned into a butterfly then flew away. Hammy went back into the fridge. And Kairi crossed her arms over her chest.

A loud- piercing- really loud- screeching- horridly loud cry made way to their ears.

Sora screamed again, "IT'S THE MUFFIN MAN!!!!!!!!"

**Is Sora right? Is it the muffin man? Where is Riku? Is Hammy alright? **


	4. JELLO!

**A Random Story with a Random Title**

**A Kingdom.Writer Origional**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KINGDOM HEARTS! GET IT THROUGH YOUR SKULL!**

**Notes: I was bored?**

**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

_Meanwhile Kairi was in Soras Kitchen making mashed potatoes. She opened the fridge doors and out flew a magical talking hamburger, "Hello- I am the magical Hambuger of Soras Refrigerator. They call me Hammy."_

_Derik and Sora devoured it like crazy. Then... it started to rain... inside.... Thunder clapped outside and Sora screamed bloody murder._

_Derik quickly turned and was in a rain-jacket now. Cher turned into a butterfly then flew away. Hammy went back into the fridge. And Kairi crossed her arms over her chest._

_A loud- piercing- really loud- screeching- horridly loud cry made way to their ears._

_Sora screamed again, "IT'S THE MUFFIN MAN!!!!!!!!"_

**Today's Randomness:**

Sora shrugged off the eerie music that was coming from nowhere and did a tapdance. Kairi sat down in a chair and watched in rain INSIDE the house. Derik was building a raft out of loose change and Soras's shoes.

Sora stopped dancing when he noticed Riku fly in. He was wearing a fake bird beak... but his normal cloths and he had bird wings too... Sora laughed at him then watched his friend perch himself up on a ledge what was coming out of the wall.

"RIKU!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

Riku screeched a bird sound at Sora then continued making a nest.

Kairi shook her head and clapped her hands. The room was clean, no water at all and the storm was only OUTSIDE. So Sora decided to sing, "Im a Barbie girl."

Derik took out binoculars and studied th rare idiot Riku make a nest, "What an extraordinary find!"

Sora stopped singing and went into the kitchen to get Jell-O. But what he didn't know was that Hammy was waiting to ambush him! The hamburger jumped up and hit Sora with a frying pan. Of course- now Sora was not right in the head.

Kairi walked into the room to supervise Sora and found him biting a wall, "What are you doing?"

Sora looked at Kairi as if she were insane, "Duh- I'm eating Jell-O!"

Kairi looked at Sora funny, of course she knew Sora was... 'Different' at times but he wasn't mental or anything... was he? She slapped her forehead and sighed, "That's a wall Sora..."

"No; it's Jell-O"

"STOP EATING THE WALL SORA! IT IS NOT JELL-O!"

Sora looked at Kairi and gave her the I'm-so-adorable-you-have-to-let-me-have-my-way smile, "But I like Jell-O"

Just then a voice came from a small Keyblade in the other room, "QUICK! COME HERE! ITS TIME!"

**What time is it? No really... what time is it? Hmm... about noon here. OK bye!**


	5. It is Done

**A Random Story with a Random Title**

**A Kingdom.Writer Origional**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KINGDOM HEARTS! GET IT THROUGH YOUR SKULL!**

**Notes: I was bored?**

**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

_Kairi walked into the room to supervise Sora and found him biting a wall, "What are you doing?"_

_Sora looked at Kairi as if she were insane, "Duh- I'm eating Jell-O!"_

_Kairi looked at Sora funny, of course she knew Sora was... 'Different' at times but he wasn't mental or anything... was he? She slapped her forehead and sighed, "That's a wall Sora..."_

"_No; it's Jell-O"_

"_STOP EATING THE WALL SORA! IT IS NOT JELL-O!"_

_Sora looked at Kairi and gave her the I'm-so-adorable-you-have-to-let-me-have-my-way smile, "But I like Jell-O"_

_Just then a voice came from a small Keyblade in the other room, "QUICK! COME HERE! ITS TIME!"_

**Now on todays randomness...**

Sora screamed as he hurt his tooth on the wall. He was sad then 5 minutes later he finally realized someone was talking to him. It was Derik saying, "QUICK! COME HERE! ITS TIME!" So, Sora being such a good friend ran over quickly and stood beside Derik looking in the complete opposite direction to which he was pointing.

"I don't see anything besides that picture of me my mom hung up on that wall." Sora pointed at the picture of Sora when he was 5, he was eating an ear of corn and throwing potatoes at the camera, "Good times, GOOOOOOOOD TIMES!"

Kairi noticed Sora wasn't looking in the right direction and flipped him around so he would see what the commotion was all about. Sora screamed, "GASP!"

Riku was sitting on the ledge of the... wall... and stood up gracefully and smirked, "It is done."

Sora looked at him and tilted his head, "What's done? OH YEAH! WE WERE COOKING POPCORN!!!!! I NEED TO GO CHECK ON IT!"

Riku cocked his head, "No. We were frying our pants and that's not what's done..."

"YEAH IT IS!"

Riku scoffed and threw a rock at Sora head knocking him out, "HE FRIGGEN RUINED MY MOMENT!"

* * *

Hammy walked out of the microwave and laughed, "My day keeps getting better! First a nice hot sauna in the microwave then I get to see Sora get knocked out!"

Derik smelled the goodness of the meat-by-product and smiled, "Hello. I am going to eat you now."

Hammy screamed, "I AM A MAGICAL HAMBURGER- YOU CANT EAT ME!"

Derik smirked, "Wanna bet?"

Hammy screamed a very girly scream and bolted around the house with Derik close behind, followed by a hungry Cher trying to eat Derik.

* * *

Kairi was poking Soras unconscious form with a stick and Riku cleared his throat, "HELLO!?"

Kairi looked up, "What now Fanci Pants?"** (A.N. I feel Y's are overrated so I don't always use them as in the case of Fanci.)**

Riku scoffed, "Ok, lemme start over. IT IS DONE!!!"

Kairi put her hands on each side of her face, "GASP! WHAT RIKU!?" Clearly making fun at him but he didn't notice."

Riku stood up and revealed 10 perfectly round eggs about the size of an ostrich's egg in his nest.

* * *

Sora stood up and screamed just now noticing the Authors Note, "HEY! WHY DON'T I HAVE A NOTE!?"

The author appeared as a fairy godmother and hit Sora really hard with her magic wand, "YOU IDIOT! I AM OVER WORKED AND UNDERPAID AND YOU EXPECT ME TO GRANT YOU A FRIGGEN WISH?"

Sora gave her the I'm-so-adorable-you-have-to-let-me-have-my-way smile, "Pleeeeease!"

The godmother/author rolled her eyes, "OK, you can have ONE note. We will call it a S.N. OK? As in Stupid Note."

"Why not for Sora Note?"

Again the godmother/author whacked Sora with her wand, "'CAUSE I SAID SO YOU BAKA!"

**What is to come of Rikus new eggs? Will Hammy ever escape the hungry Derik? Will Derik escape Cher? Will Sora use his S.N? Will I stop asking questions? NEVER!!!!!**


	6. BIKU'S!

**A Random Story with a Random Title**

**A Kingdom.Writer Origional**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KINGDOM HEARTS! GET IT THROUGH YOUR SKULL! But I do own Bikus and Hammy and Derik and... this plot... or lack of one. Yeah I don't own "Barbie" or Utada Hikaru (she rocks)'s song "Simple and Clean" or McDonalds or Cher.**

**Notes: Whoa! I didn't think so many people actually read this. Lol, personally I don't think its too funny, but imagine Riku laying eggs O.O... that is weird. And Aminay Sandiku, if they are in fact baby Riku's you have permission to keep one. BUT DON'T FEED IT AFTER MIDNIGHT OR... YEAH GET WATER ON THEM! snickers.... copying "Gremlins" Is fun..."**

_Kairi was poking Soras unconscious form with a stick and Riku cleared his throat, "HELLO!?" _

_Kairi looked up, "What now Fanci Pants?"_

_Riku scoffed, " Ok, lemme start over. IT IS DONE!!!"_

_Kairi put her hands on each side of her face, "GASP! WHAT RIKU!?" Clearly making fun at him but he didn't notice."_

_Riku stood up and revealed 10 perfectly round eggs about the size of an ostrich's egg in his nest._

**Now on todays Randomness:**

Sora skipped in a circle humming Simple and Clean as he watched the eggs Riku had laid start to wiggle around, "ITS ALIVEEEEE!"

Riku proudly nodded, "Yes." The little Rikus cracked open their shells and there sat 10 tiny Rikus, 3 had tiny red bows on their heads, obviously girls or gender confused idiots, all were dressed as Riku with birdie wings and beaks. They were about the size of pickles, which totally freaked Sora out because he was trying to call Oprah on the phone, and we _all _know that Sora only does that when there is really big pickle attacking, any form of pickle, or on Wednesday for his normal girl chat.

The baby Rikus flapped their little wingies and darted around the room causing it to look like some possessed version of "The Birds".

"Yes. FLY MY PRETTIES FLY!" Riku laughed like Ansem and thunder boomed.

* * *

"OPRAH!" Sora wailed, "PLEASE OPRAH I NEED HELP!"

A mans voice come over the phone, "YOU IDIOT! FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT OPRAH!"

Sora giggled, "Aww Oprah, you know me you don't have to hide your superpowers and secret identity, its just me Sora."

The man hit the counter with a fist, "YOU IDIOT! OPRAH DOESN'T HAVE SUPER-POWERS!"

**((Oprah flies past Soras window with a red cape on, "On to make millions and give away FREE CARS!" ))**

"Yeah you do," Sora giggled more, "Oprah, I need your help-"

"I KNOW YOU NEED HELP! NOW HANG UP! IM NOT OPRAH!"

* * *

Hammy, who was still being chased panted heavily as one of Rikus spawn grabbed him with its talons, "NOoOOoOOoOoOooOoOO!"

Derik sobs, "I was hungry!"

Cher stops and hugs Derik, "Its ok Derik. Lets go take over the world to cope with Hammies loss."

The Keyblade sniffed, "OK, but what about the dancing lemons?"

Cher was confused, "What?"

"You know, Hammies children, Linda, Bert and Greg, the dancing lemons."

"How the heck did that happen!?"

"Oh, simple really, they aren't really his kids, they were Soras imaginary friends who came to life. You know, as they say, The orange strawberry _was _purple." The keyblade laughed as did Cher. **(( A.N. that made absolutely_ no_ sense... --' )**

* * *

Kairi looked at the baby Rikus, "OOH I WANT ONE!"

Riku pouted, "Their my babies..."

Kairi looked at Riku with big eyes, "PLEEEEEEASE!"

"Fine. ONE ONLY! Don't feed him after midnight or get water on him."

"Why?"

Riku looked at her weird ,"Because then it will be evil."

"But- you are evil."

"No, I mean Ansem evil."

"Oh. On Sundays or on Tuesday?"

"More like on Mondays."

Kairi gasped, "Like Ansem on MONDAYS!?"

Riku nodded, "Yeah."

* * *

"SORA! HANG UP! DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN ABOVE HELP ME! I AM NOT OPRAH SORA!"

Sora giggled again, still as giddy as a school-girl, "Suuuuure you aren't."

"I SAID I WAS LARRY!"

"No you aren't, you are _Oprah_. Do I need to call Dr. Phil to help you?"

"SORA HANG UP!"

"Bu–"Sora was hit in the head by some old fat guy in an apron,

"Ok, Sora, no more using the phone."

"Are you Larry?"

"NO IM OPRAH!" The man sarcastically remarked.

Sora grinned from ear-to-ear, "Great, you made it!"

"Oh my God..." the man walked out of room with Sora following him.

"WAIT FOR MEEEEEE!"

* * *

Kairi smiled tenderly as she dressed her Riku in a very fashionable Barbie outfit, "There you go Fabio! Isn't that a cute name? You are so lucky I named you Fabio!"

The little bird/Riku cursed under his breath, "I will kill you someday.... Someday.. I will rule and you shall SUFFER your death will be most painful." Evil laughter is heard.

Kairi giggled, "Oh Fabio, you are SO funny!"

The bird rolled his eyes, "I hate you."

**Mwhahahahahaha Riku has spawned! Cher and Derik are planning to take over, Kairi named a bird/Riku, a race which I will call Biku, Fabio and Sora is chasing a big fat man in an apron. Yup. Just a normal day. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT!?**

**On another note I would like to say that my most faithful reviewers are getting Bikus! Yes! I know, I have one named Sam. Aminay Sandiku, since you asked I shall give you yours first hands over Biku he is named Lucifer. He bites. **


	7. IMPOSTER!

**A Random Story with a Random Title**

**A Kingdom.Writer Origional**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KINGDOM HEARTS! GET IT THROUGH YOUR SKULL!**

**Notes: I was bored?**

**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

_1. Riku laid eggs, a race called Biku_

_2. Kairi named one Biku Fabio._

_3. Sora stalked 'Oprah'_

_4. Hammy was eaten_

_5. Derik and Cher are planning on talking over the world!

* * *

_

**Now on todays randomness...**

Sora **_finally _**stopped chasing the pizza man whom he thought was Oprah and ran into the house and stood next to Kairi, still as a board.

"What are you _doing _Sora?" Kairi shook her head as she brushed her Biku's head.

"I WILL KILL YOU KAIRI MARK MY WORDS!" Called our Aerith the Biku.

"Well-" Sora began but was stopped as the really-freakishly-large-clean-glass-window broke open and there stood none other than... RIKU! "BUT THERE _CANT _BE TWO RIKUS! I EVEN KNOW THAT!"

"He is an... imposter!" The Riku that jumped out of the window screamed.

**"Nuh-uh!" **The Riku with wings said.

"Well, of _course _you would say that!" Riku out of the window said, "But I know who you _really _are!"

"You wouldn't dare reveal me!"

"Because I happen to know that the 'Riku' over there is..."Riku paused for a dramitic effect, "Leo Decaprio!"

Kairi gasped and put a hand to her mouth and whispered quietly, "Leo..."

Sora bent his head down and whispered into Kairi's ear, "He's so _hot_ right now."** (Not meaning like physically hot, but like in acting... its from a movie! I would never make Sora gay! No offence but I don't like it)**

Riku, the real one jumped up onto the ledge and pulled off Leo's 'Riku mask'. "YES! I AM RIGHT!" Riku laughed, "I AM RIGHT!"

Sora started to dance and sing about Jell-O to the tune of "Beauty and the Beast".

Kairi pet Fabio, "But- then you... you.. YOU ARE A MOUSE!"

"What?" Fabio bit Kairi's hand and started screaming until...

* * *

**WHAT WILL HAPPEN? WHY WAS LEO PRETENDING TO BE RIKU? WHERE _WAS _RIKU ALL THAT TIME? FIND OUT... LATER!

* * *

**

**(A.n. Sorry it was so short but I have to leave now so byez lol ) **

**REVIEWS MAKE THE AUTHOR VERY HAPPY!**


	8. The Daryl Song

**A Random Story with a Random Title**

**A Kingdom.Writer Origional**

**Disclaimer: I REALLY DON'T OWN IT! BUT I _DO _OWN MY SAYINGS, you know like "The orange strawberry was purple." my friends and I say that at school. I know, we're cool. Oh, I don't own the Daryl song, well, some dude at camp made it up but I changed the words on account of I couldn't remember much of it.**

**Notes: Wow, I didnt know so many people read this! YAY! And I need to apologise for a bad typo... my friends and I were goofing off and I gave her a Biku named Aerith and I put that Biku in the last chapter instead of _Fabio _I meant to say Fabio! Anyway, please keep reviewing!**

**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

"_Well, of course you would say that!" Riku out of the window said, "But I know who you really are!"_

"_You wouldn't dare reveal me!"_

"_Because I happen to know that the 'Riku' over there is..."Riku paused for a dramitic effect, "Leo Decaprio!"_

-

_Kairi pet Fabio, "But- then you... you.. YOU ARE A MOUSE!"_

_What?" Fabio bit Kairi's hand and started screaming until..._

**Now on todays randomness...**

...until the ghost of Happy appeared and kicked the little thing in the head, "Thats better!"

"YOU HURT MY LITTLE FABIO!" Kairi slapped the ghost and sat down on the ground quite upset, "How COULD YOU?"

Sora crossed his arms over his chest, "Yea! AND WHY ISNT LEO EATING SPAGHETTI?"

"How do you even know he _likes _spaghetti Sora?" Kairi asked

Sora sighed, "_Trust me_, I dance with the purple fairies heads..."

Kairi nodded her head and smiled, "I'm sorry, I forgot."

Sora nodded his head and walked up to the microphone that was in the middle of the café in Soras living room and started to sing a song, "_Daryl... me and Daryl, we were friends... We went and ate POPCORN as we watched a MOVIE in the theater." _He nodded, _"Yeah... me and Daryl, we were friends... mom said I wasn't allowed to keep chameleons... but I did ANYWAY! Me and Daryl, we were friends-"_

Kairi and Riku and Leo and all the little Bikus were holding up lighters and swaying to the beautiful slow song about Sora and his pet chameleon, Daryl. Leo whistled as Sora went on.

"_But we were EATING the popcorn... and I looked over at Daryl and said, "HEY DARYL, YOU AREN'T HERE!" and I was sad... so I RAN out to the car," _Sora kept the song slow,_ "and there he was... he was Daryl: me and Daryl, we were friends,_" Sora started screaming like a some heavy metal rock star, "**_BUT I LEFT HIM ON THE DASHBOARD! I LEFT HIM ON THE DASHBOARD AND HE DIED! DARYL WAS ON THE DASHBOARD AND HE FRIED! I LEFT HIM ON THE DASHBOARD AND I CRIED_**."

The crowd gasped. Then the song slowed back down.

"_Me and Daryl- we were friends... **BUT I LEFT HIM ON THE DASHBOARD! I LEFT HIM ON THE DASHBOARD AND HE DIED! DARYL WAS ON THE DASHBOARD AND HE FRIED! I LEFT HIM ON THE DASHBOARD AND I CRIED**! **WE USED THE SPATULA AND HE DIDN'T COME OFF, HE WAS A STICKY GLUE! MR. CLEAN DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING ON DARYL, WE USED OXY CLEAN- IT SEEMED DOOMED!**_**!"** Sora strummed the guitar that was named Pickie, "_Me and Daryl... we... were... _friends"

The crowd went wild and clapped their different types of hands together.

Then Sora spoke, "Yes, that song was about my pet, Daryl. He was a good guy. I loved him- but as I said, I left him on the dashboard- and he died, he friend, and I cried." Sora took a bow.

Kairi wiped a tear from her eye, "That was beautiful Sora!"

Sora sighed, "I know." He spun around really quick and in his spot stood... Spiderman? Oh, it was just Sora in his Spiderman outfit- no one knew it was he though.

"WHERE DID SORA GO?" they all screamed

-

'Spiderman' walked out the door followed my Hammys ghost and the old hamburger spoke, "Remember Sora: With great power comes great responsibility."

-

**A.N. I think this story is ending soon, I am runnin out of ideas, but if you people want it to keep going, review, tell me some ideas and uhhh... give me money! I like money. I don't own Oxy Clean either- I didn't add that in the disclaimer b/c it was on improv. And Mr. Clean? I don't own him, or a spatula.**

**REVIEWS MAKE THE AUTHOR VERY HAPPY!**


	9. I dream of misery, staplers, bluesclues,...

**A Random Story with a Random Title or The Story the NEVER Ends**

**A Kingdom.Writer Origional** actually, I'm - y a k o s o k u - now, but its sad, I can never remember how to spell it.

**Disclaimer:** **I DON'T OWN IT! ITS MAKES ME CRY EVERY NIGHT, BUT ONE DAY- ONE DAY I SHALL TAKE OVER DISNEY AND SQUARESOFT AND STEAL THEIR INNERMOST THOUGHTS FOR THE 5TH SEQUEL. Ooooooh yes...**

**Notes: So, I'm on aim and my friend is talking to me and she is like, "Hi" and I'm like, "I'm updating the story and I have barely any inspiration. Give me your ideas. NOW!" So I need to credit her, who I shall call... 'Lucy' for the whole 'stapler' thing... although I did change it just a wee bit... Oh and a random TV show told me about the 'kicking nose thing'

* * *

**

**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

"_WHERE DID SORA GO?" they all screamed

* * *

'__Spiderman' walked out the door followed my Hammys' ghost and the old hamburger spoke, "Remember Sora: With great power comes great responsibility."_

' 

**Now on todays randomness...**

There he sat looking at the table for no reason and day-dreaming about... stuff. **(A.N. NOT THAT YOU PERVERTS!) **Actually, this is a long chapter, so let me just explain this boys day-dream...

* * *

_Sora sat in a rather lard field of grass. Small children were running in circles to his left and a few yellow chocabos were chirping. It was all very pleasant besides the fact that Sora had been abducted by aliens and was now stuck in his own day-dream._

_Out_ _of nowhere_ _flew in a very large stapler. It had big eyes and a santa hat. Sora screamed as he saw it running after the little children, "NOOOOO! NOT THE INNOCENT LITTLE CHILDREN!"_

_The stapler shot up on its... feet? And shot out staples at Sora, he dodgedthem Matrix style. But the stapler kept running after the kids and so he had to save them, "Small children! HEAR MY PLEAS!"_

_The smallest child, a girl in a pink dress walked up Sora and kicked him where it hurts. Real bad. Especially for guys. _

_Yes, she kicked his nose._

_Sora groaned in pain and rubbed his swollen nose, "I HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU ALL FROM THE MIGHTY STAPLER!"_

_A taller, obviously older kid that looked like a little Riku, stepped forward, "But- we found a flower AND a caterpillar."_

_Sora nodded his head, "This changes everything." He tossed a rather large fried chicken leg at the mini-Riku, "We fight."_

_So- the small army was fully equipped, the girl in the pink dress had a pile of homework, mini-Riku had the chicken, this boy with blonde hair that I shall call "the blonde haired kid" had a really big laser gun that shot out purple stuff. No really- it shot of random purple objects._

"_FORWARD TROOPS!" Sora charged at the stapler- which had only move about 2 inches because its like a really big dinosaur that steps on innocent bees then gets stung so it backs up. In other words- it moves slow. _**(A.N. That made _no _sense...) **

_The stapler growled, "RAWR!"_

_Sora kicked the stapler... at the bottom part because staplers really don't talk, or have legs for that matter, they only say that so you will take your medicine like a good little psychotic nut-case._

_Mini-Riku hit the stapler with the fried chicken and its left eye poofed away._

_The blonde haired kid hit it with random purple objects, a girl's diary, fuzzy slippers, a post-it-note _**(A.N. DON'T SUE ME I DON'T OWN POST-ITS!) **_And about thirty different One-Eyed-One-Horned-Flying-Purple-People-Eaters. They all hit the stapler and it screamed in pain- one more hit and it would be dead._

_So- now it was the little girls turn. She pulled out a desk form a nearby fairy's wand and sat it in front of the monster and placed the homework on the desk, "Due in three minutes."_

_The monster screamed in pain._

"_AND ITS IN CURSIVE TOO!"_

_Then it poofed away. _

_Then Sora poofed away._

_Then- suddenly Sora found himself in a room. It was all coloring-box looking. And he looked out the window to see a mail truck going to the mail box. Then some gay guy in a green-striped shirt came in with a smile that was just _too _big. Sora tilted his head in utter confusion._

"_Well! The mails here kids! You know what that means! Time for a stupid gay song about how great the mail is!" the voice started, "MAIL TIME, MAIL TIME, MAIL TIME, MAAAAAAAIL TIIIIIME!"_

_Sora covered his, now bleeding, ears, "MAKE IT STOP!"_

"_Why! Look over there! A visitor from a 3-D world! Who are you? I'm Steve. And this is blue." he pointed to a blue slab of concrete._

"_No. No- that is a piece of blue concrete."_

"_BE QUIET! COMPUTERS MAKE THE ILLUSION FOR THE KIDS!" the gay Steve said, "So- what is your name?"_

"_Umm... I'm Sora."_

"_Great just in time for... BLUES CLUES! Sora- you can help us look for the paw-prints."_

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

_

Sora sat up in a cold sweat. He looked to his left, Kairi was walking over to his table in the café. Sora was wearing some glasses, like Pete Parker,and Kairi was dressed up like Mary-Jane Watson in Spiderman 2. She said that she wanted to talk to him _privately_- this, couldn't be good.

* * *

**SooooooOoOoOoOo! What is going to happen? Well, If you've seen Spiderman 2 then you will, kinda know what is going on. If not I am going to screw up the whole scene and make it funny!**

**A.N. THANKS EVERYONE FOR THE IDEAS! KEEP REVIEWING! I DECIDED THAT THIS STORY WILL HAVE LOOOOOTS MORE CHAPTERS- AS LONG AS I THINK OF IRRELEVANT THINGS** **THAT HAVE TO DO WITH KINGDOM HEARTS- THERE SHALL BE ANOTHER CHAPTER! MY GOAL IS 100 REVIEWS IN THE END. READ MY PROFILE FOR UPDATES ON EVERYTHING! AND READ MY OTHER STORIES AND mooglelubers STORIES- THEY ARE SOOOO FUNNY!**

**Second Friggen Disclaimer: I actually am so stupid, I forgot in almost EVERY CHAPTER to say that I DONT OWN SPIDERMAN. How stupid?**

**Now, I shall use Ansems brain-washing powers to brain-wash you.**

**REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW  
****REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW  **

**REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW  
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**REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW  
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**REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW  
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****REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW**

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I know I'm stupid? So what? I bet you will review-

Peace!


	10. Lame Pickup Lines From Riku Part 1

**A Random Story with a Random Title** or **The Story That NEVER Ends**

**A Kingdom.Writer Origional** actually, I'm - y a k o s o k u - now, but its sad, I can never remember how to spell it... ever... never-ever do I remember

**Disclaimer: I don't own Spiderman. And if you know the movie, I used some of the real dialogue. You are an idiot if you think I actually own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, I'd be making the next video game in the series. Or baking cookies...**

**Notes: So, I am bored right? And I am talking to my best friend I shall call 'Fred' who helped inspire me to write this. Then there is this one reviewer who gave me this idea to begin with! They're awesome and there name is... uhhh... its ummm... Kyle Begay! Yea! Thats him! Thanks for the awesome ideas! And one reviewer requested no gay Riku or Sora and I can guarantee there will be no gayness in this story. No offence, but I don't like that.**

**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

_Sora sat up in a cold sweat. He looked to his left, Kairi was walking over to his table in the café. Sora was wearing some glasses and Kairi was dressed up like Mary-Jane Watson in Spiderman She said that she wanted to talk to him privately- this, couldn't be good._..

**Now, on Todays Randomness:**

Sora looked at Kairi, "HIYA!" he squealed, just like a tire.

Kairi smiled and jumped down in her seat and screamed, "SURPRISE!"

Sora coughed for no reason, "Right. Thanks for coming- wait! You invited me here!"

"So?"

"Right..."

* * *

So they sat there and as they sat there Riku just happened to walk by the café window in a white 'pimp suit'. It was complete with a walking cane with inlaid diamonds in the handle and lots of money hanging out of various pockets all over the jacket. Kairi started knitting an afghan when Sora started up the conversation:

"Is everything alright, Kairi?"

Kairi threw a book at Soras head because he interrupted her knitting then the yarn turned into noodles so she threw it at the window, "You might say so. This is funny uhh... I'm not sure how to uhh... begin. You uhhh... know how our minds play tricks on us?"

Sora drifted back to the stapler dream and shuddered, "Tell me 'bout it..."

Kairi laughed and flipped her long auburn hair behind her, "Well, mine did a real number on me..."

Sora got mad, "LISTEN! THE AUTHOR SAYS THERE IS MORE I GET TO SAY!"

"What are you saying?" Kairi tilted her head to a side.

"My mind plays jokes _too_! You aren't the _only _messed up person in this world! How can you be so heartless? I CANT ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU!"

There was an awkward silence.

"Do you love me?" Kairi asked.

Soras eyes lit up, "HECK YES!"

Kairi sighed, "You d- WAIT! YOU DO?" her eyes widened, "HOLY LORD IN HEAVEN! YES!" Kairi jumped on the table in a manner of speaking, "Kiss _meeee_!"

Sora nodded and leaned in and that's when...

_Dramatic music... lights dim... ACTION!_

A HUGE flying dog busted through the café window and Sora, using his spider-senses jumped over the table, grabbing Kairi and threw themselves on the earth before the freakishly large dog hit them and probably killed them.

Kairi screamed and slapped Sora from being so close to her, "GET OFF ME!" They stood and Sora blushed while Kairi watched the dog poof away, "What's happening?"

Then came the bad guy for this chapter, "Sora" he paused and looked at Kairi, "and the girlfriend."

"I AM SO NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND!"

Sora pouted, "Why not? The doctors say that my eighth personality is the least dangerous!"

"Oh- I forgot. Then, yes I am his girlfriend."

The villain yawned, "Touching really... But that is NOT WHY I AM HERE!"

"Then why are you here?" Sora asked, "And you didn't introduce yourself!"

"Forgive me" he said, "I AM AXEL! CALL ME DOC. AXEL!" He laughed evilly.

Kairi pulled her hands into fists she knew what was coming, "Look Axel, I know what you're going to ask me... For the last time, no, I will NOT go out with you.

Axel glared at her, "Getting back to the question at hand- we, the evil guys in cloaks, are planning on leaving our bodies and meeting with the mother ship next Tuesday - wanna come?"

Sora threw his hands in the air, "I ALREADY TOLD YOU! NO!"

* * *

Riku was walking down the street, attempting to make up his own pick-up lines, he walked up next to a girl with curly black hair and shimmering green eyes who was waiting for the light to change so she could walk across the street, probably to go shopping. Riku stood next to her, "Ya know, since I moved to West Hollywood my gerbil business has really taken off." 

The young woman looked at Riku and rolled her eyes and made a disgusted noise. Riku yelled after her, still in his 'pimp suit', "Wanna buy one?"

* * *

Sora and Kairi walked out of the café, arms linked, and started singing, "One Week". But- we all know Sora cant sing so Kairi had to start screaming, "My psychiatrist says that walking helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures." to draw attention away from his hideous voice. 

**So- what will happen to Sora and Kairi? Will Riku ask out a girl successfully? Will his gerbil business still continue to soar? I really don't know right now!

* * *

**

**Notes: So, that chapter was royally messed up. Oh well, at least I updated! So, all of you, review, it is your duty. SO PICK UP YOUR DUTY AND RUN WITH IT!**


	11. Department Store War

**A Random Story with a Random Title** or **TheStory That NEVER Ends**

**A Kingdom.Writer Origional** actually, I'm - y a k o s o k u - now, but its sad, I can never remember how to spell it... ever... never-ever do I remember

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, I will not eat green-eggs-and-ham I will not, I shall not, Mr. Sam-I-Am. Actually, I don't own that either, I cant even remember the real lines to it...**

**Notes: I didnt want to do my homework, I know I am a bad example for the young readers, and I wanted to act like I was doing something productive to I decided to write the next chapter. And a note to anyone who is my fan, looks at the one person standing there and waves I am writing another humor Kingdom Hearts story. Thats all I am saying right now, but keep looking for it every once and a while! If you want updates daily, read my profile! IT HAS ALL THE UPDATES!** **AND I LIKE THIS CHAPTER! SO REVIEW! I mean, my reviewers must be dying, no-one is reviewing anymore!**

**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

_Sora and Kairi walked out of the café, arms linked, and started singing, "One Week". But- we all know Sora cant sing so Kairi had to start screaming, "My psychiatrist says that walking helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures." to draw attention away from his hideous voice_

**Now, on Todays Randomness:**

"HOME!" Kairi screamed and flung herself on a nearby couch. She hugged the pillow, "I have never seen so many people trying to run over Sora in one day!"

Sora skipped in the door and looked at the phone, "I'm hungry again. I want a pizza!" Kairi shrugged and let Sora be a big boy and dial the pizza place all by himself... what a mistake...

* * *

Riku stood in the aisle of a discount superstore, it has _everything_. Towels, grills, beds, baby clothes, computers, even a whole area dedicated to Kingdom Hearts. **(A.N. You all should know that if I had a store, it was most definitelyhave one side dedicated to KH stuff!)**

He walked along, looking for some other girl to ask out. He had been practicing all day and _he knew _that this time, it would be perfect.He began to walk up to some random old people. His eyes darted all around the old ones and he hummed the "Mission Impossible" theme song. The elderly lady glared at Riku and tried to kick him as he jumped on the floor and began to roll around still humming.

* * *

Sora walked up to the phone and dialed the pizza number, he knew it by heart. He listened to it ring twice, then a young man's voice came in, "Hello! This is Ansem! And you just called," his voice turned dark and demonic, **"Darkness Pizza Company: eat our pizza, and we steal your soul!" **the mans voice was high and chipper again, "Can I take your order?"

Sora scratched his chin, "Ansem... Bed-wetters camp right?**"**

"What-do-you-mean?" The pizza-man said

"We met in bed-wetters camp... right?" Sora asked

"NO! I tried to kill you, remember?"

"Ooooooh, right!" Sora smiled.

Ansem sighed, "What will it be?"

"A pizza..." he said being vague, "Can you sculpt it into a celebrity of my choosing? I want Cher." he asked then continued, "And no band-aid on the pizza this time or I'll sue!"

Ansem sweat-dropped, "No I cannot make it into Cher... I will personally make sure there is no band-aids on the pizza...**" **Ansem sighed, "What will your order be, _Sora_?"

* * *

Riku picked up a walkie-talkie and fixed the army-hat that was on his head. He spoke into it like he was in some foreign war movie or something, "This... may be my last chance... The fiends! The old ones! They have engaged a FULL-ON WAR!" Riku rolled to the left, avoiding a flying TV screen, "Those women... they are stronger than I thought!" Riku stood up and ran down the aisles, trying to get to a safer post.

He reached the broom aisle and a few people stared at all of his tattered clothes and that black stuff foot-ball players put under their eyes. Riku grabbed a broom, threw it in the air and tried to jump on it and fly away. Well... he didn't fly. Riku hit the floor and got the wind knocked outta him. He screamed in rage, "THE BROOMS DON'T WORK!"

* * *

Ansem screamed- a manly scream, "NO SORA! NO!"

Sora cried into the phone, "PLEASE! PLEASE ANSEM!"

"Argh. Fine- I will check to see if your pizza is 'dead'. Now- would you like something to drink with that, Pepperoni pizza of yours?"

Sora held up a hand in protest to the mans words, although no-one could see through the phone, "I shall _not _be swayed by your sweet words!"

Ansem sighed, "OK... I guess not..."

* * *

Riku climbed to the tallest tower of canned foods he could find and scouted for the enemy. THERE! Three aisles down, the Blue-Hairs were spotted! Riku laughed in triumph but, the Blue-Ones spied him and threw the purses at him.

He would **NOT** go down without a fight.

Riku heroically jumped down the pile of canned-foods and dashed to the old women. He grabbed a roll of Christmas wrapping paper and started the battle. The leader of the Blue-Hairs, a he-woman named Bertha, grabbed a roll of silver wrapping-paper and jumped forward, but her attack missed.

Now it was our hero Rikus' turn to strike. He lunged forward and in a tricky move, tripped the lady, she fell down on the floor, cushioned only by her puffy dress. Riku dodge-rolled and took control of her buggie. He grabbed a spare blanket, conveniently located right there, wrapped it around him and screamed, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin-to the Batcave!" **Victory was finally his! ... Or was it?

* * *

**

Ansem was in tears now, "Sora! We've been on the phone for nearly 3 hours now! Just go away so I can deliver the pizza!"

"Fine" he said, "but remember, we never had this conversation."

"What?"

"WHO ARE YOU?" Sora asked, probably pretending to be a secret agent... _again_...

Ansem hung up and Sora jumped down on the couch near his beloved Kairi... and a ball of yarn... waiting for the pizza-man-Ansem to arrive.

* * *

_Ding, Dong... Ding, Dong_

Sora jumped up and ran to the door. Ansem stood there, in a little outfit, a monkey on his shoulder and a pizza box in his hand, "Hello Sir, enjoy your pizza." Ansem rolled his eyes.

Sora looked up to him with his huge, adorable, **BEAUTIFUL**, amazing, spectacular, dazzling, enchanting, fan-girl-melting, innocent, crazy, wild, cute, wonderful, joyful, happy, shy, Sora smile, "Can I keep the box?"

Ansem looked at Sora like he was a total idiot, "...Yes..."

Sora heaved a heavy sigh of relief and whispered to himself, "Thank goodness..."

**TO BE CONTINUED! WILL RIKU WIN THE WAR AGAINST THE 'BLUE-HAIRS'? WILL SORA SAY GOOD-BYE TO HIS NEW 'FRIEND' ANSEM THE PIZZA DUDE? WHERE _IS _KAIRI NOW? I DON'T KNOW!

* * *

**

**Notes: Heh. I like that chapter. It was fun to write. Review durn you REEEEEVIEEEEWW!**


	12. The King Of Thee World As We Know It

**A Random Story with a Random Title** or **TheStory That NEVER Ends**

**A Kingdom.Writer Origional** actually, I'm - y a k o s o k u - now, but its sad, I can never remember how to spell it... ever... never-ever do I remember

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, that is why I am writing this little thing I like to called a 'Fan Fiction'... but you aren't _that _stupid! You knew that! I don't own Burger King hats either... you knew that... right?**

**Notes: I just realized I hadn't wrote the next chapter yet! (Author screams)so I was very sad, as I am SURE you all are! And I wanted to tell you all to go and read my other story, "B l i n d H e a r t" because, well, I said so, and it needs some reviews!

* * *

**

**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

_Sora looked up to him with his huge, adorable, BEAUTIFUL, amazing, spectacular, dazzling, enchanting, fan-girl-melting, innocent, crazy, wild, cute, wonderful, joyful, happy, shy, Sora smile, "Can I keep the box?"_

_Ansem looked at Sora like he was a total idiot, "...Yes..."_

_Sora heaved a heavy sigh of relief and whispered to himself, "Thank goodness..."_

**Now, on Todays Randomness:**

"Kairi!" Sora screamed at the top of his lungs, "Where are you?" He looked at the ball of yarn that was still sitting on the couch then back to the pizza man standing in front of him, "WHO ARE YOU?"

Ansem the pizza guy sighed, "This is exactly why I tried to kill you! But no! NO! You just would _not _die!"

"EITHER WOULD YOU! I HAD TO KILL YOU LIKE-" Sora started counting, "LIKE FOUR TIMES! MAYBE EVEN FIVE TIMES! NOT TO EVEN MENTION THE OTHER LITTLE ANNOYING THINGS I HAD TO KILL!"

"Hey! Why do you get to talk in capital letters? I am yelling just as loud and all I get is lower-case!"

"'Cause I am special!" Sora responded matter-of-factly.

Ansem snickered, "I know that!"

"HEY!"

"Your socks say so."

Sora looked at his feet, his socks had the words, 'My mom says I'm special' on them. **(A.N. I HAVE THOSE SOCKS! My mom bought them for me b/c she said I was demented. Heh)**

Sora giggled then sighed, "I miss my mommy, Ansem.**"**

"I'm... sorry..." Ansem tried to back away from Sora while his head was down

Sora looked up and smiled, "ANSEM! WILL YOU BE MY MOMMY?"

"Oh-mah-gaw!" Ansem ran down the beach screaming followed by Sora who was at that moment very torn up by the fact he left the ball of yarn at his house... Why oh why could he not have taken it with him? Now it was all alone, it must have been so scared!

* * *

"The FIENDS!" Kairi screamed at the top of her lungs while in the pet-store at the mall, "How could they cage animals like that?"

A sales-woman was at that moment walking by the auburn haired girl who was at that moment crouching down near the cat scratching posts, there she waited and waited for her moment.

The lady was directly in front of her! Now was her chance!

Kairi leapt up and jumped over the various pet-toys then fell on the lady in a very successful tackle, Kairi growled at her, "Remember the Alamo!"

"What do you mean?" The panicking lady asked the rabid-crazy-girl

Kairi stood up holding the lady's shirt collar, "Give me your apron."

The lady looked down at her sales-attire, she wore a white apron that says, 'Yes, we sell animals!' on itshe looked at Kairi and shook her head but then looked out into the mall and threw off her sales uniform, "Oh whatever! I'm going shopping! Take it!"

Kairi grabbed the apron and put it on, "Phase One: Complete"

* * *

Riku rolled down the aisle, avoiding more attacks from the air-borne Blue Hairs, "CURSE YOU!"He ran for cover and jumped in a random door that just happened to be a frozen-food door, "CRAP!" He desperately fought for passer-bys attention to let him out of his cage.

A little boy snickered and threw random objects at Riku, "LOSER!"

Riku was out-raged, "HOW DARE YOU!"

Then, out of no-where, the Air-Bourne Blue-Hairs swooped down and attacked the small boy, then... she saw Riku, her _real _prey...

"I'M NOT RIKU!" He screamed, but it was in vain. The Blue-Hair opened the door and took flight with Riku slung over her shoulder...

He was trapped. He was now a captive of the Blue-Hairs.

* * *

Sora looked at a random man standing on the subway, his chase after Ansem had led him here, "Say-" he asked the random man, "Have you seen a man that looks like a woman with silver hair in here?"

"Go away or I'll call the cops!"

"YOU HAVE A GLUE-SNIFFING ADDICTION!"

"What?"

"Do I know you? NO! GET AWAY OR I'LL CALL THE COPS!"Sora had turned the tides of the conversation.

The random man backed off, "Whoa... I didn't realize he was 'mental'."

So, Sora, feeling very almighty and powerful, picked up a paper Burger King crown, "OooOoOh!" Sora squealed, "Shiny!" With that, he put the crown on and officially made himself, 'Ruler of thee World as We Know it'

He walked onto the subway car thing and looked at a woman who was cradling a small infant, "Bow down to me mortal."

"What?" She asked as she looked up, only then did Sora realize it was no mother holding a baby, it was _Lulu _holding a _moogle_, "Sora? What are you doing?"

"How do you know who I am?"

"You impudent fool, I know everything, I am the gothic monotone speaking black-mage of Final Fantasy X and X-2" **(A.N. I love Lulu, she's so awesome!)**

Sora knitted his brow, "O-Kay..."

"Sora... what _are _you _doing_?"

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME BY THAT NAME YOU PITIFUL MORTAL!"

Lulu kicked Sora where it hurts. Really bad. Especially for the guys...

Yes, she kicked his nose.

Then the author came in, this time dressed as a huge moogle, "Hey! Why did I use that? I already used that 'nose line' in this story!"

"You wrote it you baka!" A random person shouted.

"FEEL MY WRATH!" With that, the author poofed the random person in a place of untold danger... she put the person in an episode of Barney, "Mwhahaha, _such evil!"_

"Will you go away now?" Sora politely asked.

"Sure, I have to go finish typing this story."

"Uh... then who is typing _this_?"

"That is a very good question... Who _is _typing this?"

"Better go find out!"

"I'm not falling for that, Sora!"

"I'm not Sora."

"What?"

"I am... ANTISORA: the evil person in Neverland that was a pain in the rear to beat because he just was so slippery!"

"GASP!"

* * *

**Ending Note: Heh, go review. I had no inspiration, you reviews gimme some ideas. What exactly do you _want _in this story? The way things are going... it wont last much longer. It was fun writing though!**


	13. Emilia!

**A Random Story with a Random Title** or **TheStory That NEVER Ends**

**A Kingdom.Writer Original** actually, I'm - y a k o s o k u - now, but its sad, I can never remember how to spell it... ever... never-ever do I remember

**Disclaimer: I saw a dog today! (Huge grin) I'm sooo happy! You know what else makes me happy? Knowing that I shall -one day- own Kingdom Hearts! But.. Right now... I don't own it so thats why I have this disclaimer!**

**Notes: Heh. Sorry for not updating sooner, I've been busy updating B l i n d H e a r t (go and read it) and writing a new humor KH story! Its gonna be awesome. Heh. I just noticed that for like the past 3 or more chapters that I've spelled 'Original' wrong at the top. Whoa. I'm stupid!

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**

**Reviewers!: I thought it'd be nice to mention all of my lovely reviewers (who reviewed the last chapter)! So... I will!**

_skitzofranicCrazyPhysco_- Heh, nice name, I like it. Yea, it took me forever to beat too, but it was worth it I suppose.

_Tolea_- I'll try to keep updating, and if I use your idea, I'll include the fact that you like made it up. Heh, I'm not _that _stupid/mean/evil. It's a good idea so I shall most likely use it, but, it wont be too soon because I have to wrap up this little saga thing that's going on now. Heh.

_ChillyWilly101_- Oooh, you are the first person to catch onto the fact that Cher and Derik are gone, good job! I haven't forgot them!

_Rain Wind Girl-_ Whoa... your sister was taping you up? OO. Uhhh that's... scary. Oh well. Hehe. I absolutely loved your ideas too! I will most positively use them eventually! Don't worry- I'll give you credit for the ideas!

* * *

**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

1. Riku was captured by the Blue-Hairs

2. Kairi went mental and decided to free all the animals in the mall

3. Sora kinged himself "Ruler of the World as We Know it"

4. ... Probably other stuff...

**Now, on Todays Randomness:**

The almighty author crossed her arms, "Sora, take off the costume!"

"IM ANTI-SORA!**"**

"Liar."

"Sheesh. Fine" Sora sighed

The author-ess scoffed, "Why is it that stupid people get to live?"

"... someone has to be President." Sora reasoned as he pulled off the Anti-Sora costume. And after that, the author sprouted beautiful butterfly wings and flew off to finish writing this chapter. While still standing in the sub-way, Sora fixed his paper crown and caught a piece of paper that just happened to flutter down from the ceiling, "YAY! ITS CHRISTMAS!" Sora looked the paper over and saw what was written down on it, he read the words out-loud, "Upcoming Spiderman/Square-Dancing Convention!"

Sora screamed in excitement, "I HAVE TO GO TO THIS! First I have to find Kairi and Riku! THEY HAVE MONEY!" Sora skipped off to find his friends. However- we _all _know that poor Sora is _very _easily distracted. And that was when he saw her.

She was a fairly attractive female, and wore a bright yellow sun-hat that shaded her puppy-dog brown eyes. Her hair was the beautiful shade of ebony and it swayed back and forth as she danced to the music in the subway. Sora was completely head-over-heels in love at first sight.

"FORGET KAIRI! SHE'S HOTT!" Sora squealed as he ran over to the female. As soon as he arrived she squeaked in fear and ran behind her 'master'.

Her 'master' smiled and talked to Sora in an Italian accent, "Ello me yellow-shoed friend! My-a name is-a Antonio-a! And-a this-a," he pointed at the black-haired female behind him, "Be-a me darling-a Emilia!"

Sora smiled, "She's _very _pretty! _I _once had a pet monkey. He was little and green and visited me in the asylum. He was my best friend... but he ran away to visit the elves!- Well, that's what Dr. Smiles told me."

"Ooooh" The Italian man said, "Well-a, Emilia and I are-a traveling Organ-Grinders! Emilia dances to my playing-a -she is a very graceful gal- and takes off her hat and people give her money-a for it... -a."

"CAN I BUY HER?" Sora asked with his huge, adorable, **BEAUTIFUL**, amazing, spectacular, dazzling, enchanting, fan-girl-melting, innocent, crazy, wild, cute, wonderful, joyful, happy, shy, Sora smile.

"NO! THE MONKEY IS MIIIIINE-A!"

"GIVE ME MONKEY, OR GIVE ME DEATH!"

Emilia, the black-haired _monkey _chirped a monkey chirp and bit her 'masters' leg. Sora clapped his hands and scooped up the "beautiful woman".

"EAT THAT YOU GLUE-SNIFFER!" Sora screamed as he ran out of the sub-way, his beloved pet monkey, Emilia sitting on his shoulder.

Antonio rubbed his sore leg then shouted after the two, "YOU WILL DIE IN SEVEN DAYS!"

* * *

Kairi stood in a corner, wearing her apron over her clothes and she darted her eyes back and forth while humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song. She crept over to the small cage that held the chinchillas, "Yes... RUN- BE FREE!" 

Sora flew into the store on a pink dragon named Fifi, his beloved Emilia on his right shoulder. Sora held out a hand for Kairi, "COME NOW KAIRI!"

"Why?"

"We're going to a convention!"

"I don't wanna go. I'm busy freeing the enslaved race of pets. If God wanted them in cages he would've like... done other stuff. BUT HE DIDN'T! Its my duty as a woman to free them!" Kairi laughed evilly.

"You're still going..."

Kairi sighed as she took Soras hand and got on Fifi, "Where now?"

Emilia screeched at Kairi's entrance and threw a rock at her head.

"OWWW!"

Sora smiled at his new love, "Ahh, yes Kairi, this is my love, Emilia."

The monkey squeaked and sat up on Soras head.

"WHAT ABOUT ME?"

Sora laughed, "That's funny. Really it is. Kairi, Emilia is a whole other class of woman, you wouldn't understand."

Kairi shot laser beams at Sora. Literarily.

"Argh. That hurt." Sora shrugged, "Off to search for Riku now! ONWARD FIFI!" The pink dragon thing took to the skies and roared really loud. The monkey fell off from the loud noise and died.

Sora screamed, "NO- NOT EMILIA!" Tears flew out of his eyes, "I LOVE-ED HER! I LOVE-ED HER!"

Kairi crossed her arms and scoffed, "It was a _monkey _Sora."

"WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL GIRL!"

"Don't go all EMO on me Sora." Kairi scoffed, "I hate EMO."

"HOW DARE YOU! DIE!" Sora tried to push Kairi off the pink dragon named Fifi, but he couldn't because, we all know, Sora love-ed Kairi once too.

Kairi stared at him, "What now?"

"Tacos?"

"HECK YES!"

Sora nodded and steered the dragon down to the ground near a Discount Superstore. He jumped off Fifi and tied her up on one of those horse-tier-uppers then helped Kairi down off the giant thing that should be on _anther _movie called, "The Never-ending Story."You know, that movie parents make kids watch so they can go do grown-up things. Yea. That one.

Kairi screamed and ran up to the window, "RIKU'S IN THERE!"

"Really? WHERE?" Sora asked as he looked the complete opposite way. Kairi turned him around and Sora screamed, a girly one, even though we know Sora isn't like _that_, "RIKU!"

**TBC**

**

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**What _will _happen to Riku? Is he dead? Is he _alive_? Is he a rock-star? What happened to Emilia? Will Kairi and Sora get their tacos? Keep reading to find out!**

**Ending Note: W00T, W00T! 70 reviews total baby! YESS! Heh. I feel happy. While I still have you reading, I shall advertise my other story,it needs reviews!

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**

:Advertising:

Girl at the Rock-Show -KH - Sora thought it'd be another stupid summer with Tidus and Selphie when, out of no-where, Selphie explodes into school talking about the 'concert of the year', the only problem being, Sora, the tough-guy, wouldn't be caught dead listening to Kupo the 'hot newband'. But when Tidus and he finally end-up going to this so-called-concert to make Selphie happy,Sora meets a girl that will change his life. SxK RxK TxSe CHAPTERED STORY


	14. I THOUGHT YOU LOvED ME!

**A Random Story with a Random Title** or **TheStory That NEVER Ends**

**A Kingdom.Writer Original** actually, I'm - y a k o s o k u - now, but its sad, I can never remember how to spell it... ever... never-ever do I remember

**Disclaimer:** If you give a keyblade a muffin, you're not like... right in the head...You're _also _not right in the head if you think I own Kingdom Hearts.

**Notes:** Right now, I am taking advantage of my two friends sugar-ed up, messed up, Mountain-Dewed, dead, brains. I know, I'm _bad_. But hey _I'm _sugar-ed up, messed up, Mountain-Dewed, dead, brain-ed too! They gave me inspiration to continue!

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**Reviewers:** Ok, I'll answer/comment to people who read the _last _chapter!

**Squirrelgurl- **You remind me of my best friend Aud- erm, LINDA! Yes, I'll call her Linda. She is obsessed with squirrels and is really hyper... like you are. I'm sorry about your erm... gut busting and all, but I _do _try.

**Luvbobbyo101:** Hehe thanks, that's for all the compliments, I usually don't get those. I get like, a kick in the shin or a flaming stick. Anyways, yes, this story NEVER ends. Heh. And you read my other story, Girl at the Rock-Show, so, you get a cookie!

**Princess Kairi: **Yes, The Ring 2 will probably be scary. The first one wasn't. But, I'll admit, 7 days later, after I watched it, I was royally weirded-out.

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**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

_Kairi and Sora went looking for Tacos (whoa... I must like typing about tacos...) And they found Riku!_

**Now, on Todays Randomness:**

"**KAIRI!" **Screamed Sora as he looked down at his feet.

"What now, Sora?" Kairi huffed as he crossed her arms over her chest, "I wanted to go get Riku and end the suspense in this Fan-Fic!"

"Well," Sora said as he looked up, his sapphire eyes looking incredibly hott, "I've waited all my life, to cross this line, to the only thing that's true!"

Kairi blushed, "Aww!"

Sora jumped over the line that was drawn in the sand, "Fwee!" then he grabbed a taco that was sitting there, "You'll always be true to _me _Taco!"

Steam shot out of Kairi's ears, "YOU LITTLE POLKA-DOTTED-NEENAL-WEESY!"

Sora gasped, "You _can't _say that! ITS COPYRIGHTED!"

"By who?"

"The," Sora looked at his cue-card and read from it slowly and in monotone, "awesome, fantastic, joyful, oh-so-sexy, radiant, intelligent, funny, energetic, smiley, beautiful, competitive, perfect, most best author-ess in the world, Yako. Or as more know her as, -y a k o s o k u-"

"SHE WROTE THAT!"

Sora looked up, "Yea, but she pays us!"

"Sora, you _will _be in trouble after this fan-fic!"

Sora screamed in delight! "Why my _poor _Kairi, this story _never _ends!" He pointed at the title! Just then, two masked menaces swung by it!

"GASP!" cried Kairi!

"Who was that?"

Who _was _it? Why, my dear readers, it was CHER AND DERIK!

Cher did a triple flip and landed on the floor in front of Kairi, soon after her, Derik landed.

"DERIK! MY OOMPA-LOOMPA!" squealed Sora in delight.

Cher kicked Sora in the shin, "He is _my _husband! And he is a KEYBLADE!"

Kairi yawned, "This script is really boring... the author-ess must be sleepy..."

"Or procrastinating something she doesn't wanna do!"

"Psh, Yea." said the author-ess at her computer, a Dell to be exact, "Who wants to clean house before a party? NOT I!"

Sora screamed, "You're having a party? WHY AM I NOT COMING?"

"You're... not... real..."

There was a silence.

Kairi scoffed, "Well, you're not real to _us_."

"DIE!" screeched the author-ess and she poofed Kairi away.

Sora screamed as tears flew out of his eyes, "No! Not her! NOT HER! SHE WAS MY BEST-EST FRIEND! NO!"

The author-ess felt bad for poor Sora so she brought back Kairi.

"I LIVE!" screamed Kairi in great joy!

Sora smiled real big, "Yay!"

Cher tilted her head, making her look like a puppy, "Aww, sweet first-love."

Kairi shot a look at Cher, "WHAT?"

Meanwhile Derik was singing, "I'm a Keyblade, and I'll kick your butt! I am shiny and I say, 'You sup?' I like to rhyme and drink lemon tea, lets hear it everybody, for Derik the KEY!"

Kairi coughed, "Blade."

"What?"

"_Kayblade._" She pointed out.

Sora hugged Kairi, "YOU LIVE!"

"Um... Sora? Get off."

"But you _love _me!"

"No..."

... silence...

Sora started to cry, "I thought you love-ed me!"

Kairi sighed, "Not in this story."

Cher gasped, "No!"

Derik was still singing in rap.

Sora sat down on the ground all depressed-like, "I thought you love-ed me."

Kairi whispered something in his ear and he shot up looking _very _happy, "Fwee!"

Kairi smiled and Cher and Derik were like this, "0.o' "

Sora smiled real big and decided that he wanted to end this chapter right... about... NOW!

"Fwee!"

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**Ending Note:** No inspiration anymore. Kinda forced this one out. Anways, review! REVIEW FOR YOUR LIFEEE! 


	15. Yako's Modern Life

A Random Story with a Random Title or TheStory That NEVER Ends

A Kingdom.Writer Original actually, I'm - y a k o s o k u - now

**Disclaimer: **If you give a keyblade a muffin, you're not like... right in the head...You're _also _not right in the head if you think I own Kingdom Hearts.

**Notes: **Sorry for the Delay... I was busy having a life. If anyone is still reading this, you officially rock.

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**Reviewers: **Ok, I'll answer/comment to people who read the _last _chapter!

**Meghan(hyper): **... O.0 I'm happy you like the story...

**Sora-is-a-hottie: **The secret that Kairi said to Sora was (car crashes) .. And thats what she said! Oh- the pizza thing, yeah it was on my site cause I found it... somewhere. Heh.

**Oathk33p3r: **Glad you could finally review me ya big meanie! (Waves finger in face) Bad moogle! Its too hard for me to remember the oathkeeper thing... --' ... I'll talk to you on AIM later maybe,

**Rain Wind Girl:** Whoa... you are pretty darn random yourself... You deserve a cookie but sadly I do not have any because CALLY stole them!

**Riku's bebe: **Riku will be back... don't worry... and its weird because about 30 people have requested for Hammy to come back so he probably will.

**IridescentFlight**: Thanks for the awesome crown (high-five) Rock on!

**Fairy Godmoose: **Dance with a bellybutton? Goodness... are you on crack? It's a GREAT IDEA! WOO-HOO!

**Kyle Begay: **Oh yeah- the leprechauns will come soon!

**AloneAtLast: **O.0 Erm... well... suuuuuure

**Riku1624: **You are DIGGING MY STORY! DO YOU HAVE A PERMIT FOR DIGGING? O.O

**Tolea: **I'll put Leon and Cloud in this chapter! YOU HAPPY NEOW? Haha.

**Cillywilly101: **Cher and Derik do rock, so do you because you reviewed, you review this chapter and you can have a biku

**Yuri of the Unforgiven: **Sheesh... that's a long name you got... You know they have hotlines for people like you, whenever you are tempted just say this out loud: "DRUGS ARE BAD!" Thanks for the funny review! XD

**Princess Kairi: **Yea- thats exactly the way I see libraries! Fwee!

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**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

_Lots of random stuff happened! And because I am stupid, I am not writing it down!__Now you all will see a day in the life of Yako!_

**Now, on Todays Randomness:**

There sat the AMAZING author-ess in the middle of a pure white room. She was wrapped in a sort of... jacket that made it hard for her to move her arms. Some maniacs would call it a strait-jacket, but to Yako, it was... a circus tent. Yako twitched.

"Ello my few readers... I have not updated because the nice man over there" she gestured over to a man holding a BIG needle, "took me to the room with the squishy walls. Luckily for me, I am half-Mexican, therefore I am invincible! I can fly and I can be what ever I want to be!"

"Except a flying carpet" the 'nice-man' said, "You remember what happened last time."

"Yes-Yes! Except a flying carpet! She ran to the middle of the room and went into the fetal position, "KARL, GUESS WHAT I AM!"

"..."

"THAT IS RIGHT! I _AM _A MAGICAL DEEP SEA LEPRECHAUN!"Yako twitched and suddenly a huge cookie burst into the room screaming, "Roar"

"Ahh! A cookie!" Yako stated blandly

"I am no ordinary cookie!" stated the cookie, "I am a... CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE!"

Yako screamed and ran in circles, her arms flailing in all directions. In came another person, this one dressed as a rather large kitty. The Kitty hissed and pounced on Yako then looked at the cookie.

Yako sighed, "Hey Rags..." She indicated the name-tag on the Kitty, obviously it was her only best friend, Rag-Doll07 from FanFiction.

The Kitty jumped off Yako licking her lips.Yako screamed, "DON'T EAT THAT COOKIE!"

Kitty gave her an odd sort of look that meant, "I need a diaper" or, "Why should I not eat this rather large cookie that it standing before me?"

Yako nodded and explained, "You cannot eat that cookie because it has legs!"

The man with the needle moved in...

* * *

Then, abruptly, a large man with a bald spot that a Yamica could easily cover hit a ruler on a brunettes desk. She jolted up and sighed, just an ordinary day in "Flooks" class. The bald man went to the front of the room and started talking about something and the girl sat back in her seat. She glanced at her spare paper... or lack there of and read the words heading it**, "The Story That NEVER Ends" **She smiled to herself and began to write chapter 16 of it.

Yes, this is Yako's life.

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**Ending Notes: **I was kinda bored so I wrote this and yes, thsi is how most chapters are made. In my science class. Sorry for the lack of plot... and funny but chapter 16 really _is _coming soon!


	16. The REAL Glass of Water

A Random Story with a Random Title or TheStory That NEVER Ends

A Kingdom.Writer Original actually, I'm - y a k o s o k u - now

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**Disclaimer: **If you give a keyblade a muffin, you're not like... right in the head...You're _also _not right in the head if you think I own Kingdom Hearts.

**Notes: **Sorry for the Delay... I was busy having a life. If anyone is still reading this, you officially rock… still. I promise that I will update more often! I swear!

**Note to other reviewers:** If any of you read "The Girl at the Rock Show" don't like… forget about it. I am going to be updating it soon, its just taking longer than I expected.

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**Reviewers: **Ok, I'll answer/comment to people who read the _last _chapter!

**Tolea: **Okaaay…. So I'm your master now you say? Well I say fetch me a sponge… no questions just do it. xX

**Scrb3331: **I do not know what you were going to say.

**Rain Wind Girl: **I always wanted to ask you this but, what's up with your name? How did you make it up?

**Chillywilly101: **I'll keep voodoo in mind.

**Fairy Godmoose: **Yes most good ideas randomly come to most people in science classes, sometimes math too.

**Meghan(hyper): **I AM NOT A DEMENTED COOKIE DEAMON! I am a chocolate chip cookie demon.

**AnimeDutchess: **I am also a rather big fan of randomness myself

**Ashema-Deamifpib: **I cant type your name its really weird and too hard to type. I'm soory that the last chapter want up to your standards.

**Kagura: **Thank ye

**Oathk33p3r: **YAY! YOU FINALLY GOT TO REVIEWING! That makes me very happy! Thanks for the music code on xanga by the way!

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**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

_Some stuff happened… and it was about me I think… but who cares, I'm updating._

**Now, on Today's Randomness:**

Sora sat patiently on the edge of a bench next to a banana. He recently became a fugitive of the law when he rescued his friend from the clutches of the evil blue-hairs. It was a very heroic deed, too bad for Sora that Kairi did most of the work therefore he didn't get any cookies.

Out of the blue Riku walks out. Actually, it was more of a green-ish blue color. So, let me rephrase: Out of the green-ish blue Riku walked out dressed as a fireman, complete with a Dalmatian.

Sora glanced at the sidewalk near Riku's feet and grinned, "Oh cool a cup! I'm thirsty anyways!" Lo and behold there sat a tiny red cup.

"Hey, hey you! You going to drink that cup?" Sora asked Riku

Riku looked up, responding to a voice, and accidentally kicked the glass of water and the water spread out into a tiny puddle.

"Oh no! Look what you've done! You're going to drown the whole world! We're all going to die! I cant swim! I'm going to die! Oh no… oh no… oh..." Sora fell face flat in the puddle and drowned.

'_That was weird, its only a Wednesday…' ' _thought Riku. He stared at his best friends lifeless, downed body on the concrete.

"Hey! Hey you! Did you kill that guy?"

Riku glanced up to see a brown haired man with a really big shiny star for a badge. He also had a name-tag that said "Leon" in sloppy handwriting.

'_Obviously,'_ Riku thought, '_Leon is a guy, honestly look at his handwriting! It's atrocious!' _

"I just spilled some water…"

"Don't lie to me boy- I'm a cop! See," he pointed at his badge, "look at my badge!"

"You probably stole that from a three-year-old."

"Nuh-uh! No I didn't!"

"Yeah."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah you did… you probably did. You did"

"No I didn't! Oh nooo! I cant swim either! Oh no!" Leon fell in the small puddle of water and instantly drowned because he can't swim.

'_Alright… this is really weird…'_

"Hey you! You over there!"

Riku turned and spotted a blonde man with a big vest on; it looked like a life-jacket. He instantly recognized the man as this guy from a video game… what was his name again…. Oh yeah- Cloud.

"I'm going to rescue you!"

"I don't really _need _rescuing… I just spilled some water over here-"

"Sir, Sir, if I'm going to rescue you you're going to have to cooperate with me. Just calm down." He threw a big rope at the silver haired man. Riku stared blankly at it.

"I just spilled some-"

"Sir! Just grab the rope and calm down you'll be OK!"

"But-"

"Grab it!'

Riku grabbed the rope that would somehow save his life… that was in danger?

"Pulling pulling pulling, pulling pulling" Cloud sang to himself. Riku was eventually pulled over to Cloud.

"YAY!" Cloud hugged Riku then backed off and stared at the dead bodies and the broken glass plus the small pool of liquid.

"Oh no! I forgot- I cant swim either! Oh noo!" Cloud ran up to the mass of objects and hit the small pool of water and died.

Riku scratched his head utterly confused. Kairi energetically bounced up next to Riku.

"Its one of those days." She giggled. "Oh no! I CANT SWIM!" Kairi then died in the water.

And then there was one… Riku looked at the dead bodies and then walked over to them and did the only thing a respectful person would do. He robbed them silly! He took everything out of their pockets and took the necklace Sora gave to Kairi right off her neck!

Afterwards, Riku went to a pawn shop, sold his riches and became a millionaire. He lived happily ever after!


	17. Lets Talk In Song!

A Random Story with a Random Title or TheStory That NEVER Ends

A Kingdom.Writer Original actually, I'm - y a k o s o k u - now

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**Disclaimer READ IT: **Argh… sorry guys, I forgot to say that I didn't make up the whole "guy spills a cup" thing I completely forgot to edit my disclaimer… I needed to thank my reviewer… I don't remember her name but she reminded me. Sooo I didn't make up that last chapter at all. I don't own Kingdom Hearts nor do I own Final Fantasy and I do not own the song titles in this chapter, they all belong to their own respective owners. I will underline all of the song titles/lines that I DO NOT OWN.

**Notes: **Sorry for the Delay... I was busy having a life. If anyone is still reading this, you officially rock… still. I promise that I will update more often! I swear!

**Note to other reviewers:** If any of you read "The Girl at the Rock Show" don't like… forget about it. I am going to be updating it soon, its just taking longer than I expected.

* * *

**Last time on the days of our randomness:**

_Some stuff happened… and I didn't make up the plot. Most of my reviewers don't like the story anymore so I think after I do the spoof on "The Breakfast Club" I'll end the story. Yes, "The Story That NEVER Ends" is going to end probably._

**Now, on Today's Randomness:**

Riku, now being a rich guy like Donald Trump, used his money to resurrect all of his dear friends (and that cop guy) form the dead. Then they all killed Riku because he had mugged them.

The group (excluding Riku) sat round the campfire toasting marshmallows. Now let us listen in on the conversation.

"-So, when I was seven I sat on a banana and, needless to say, it changed my life"

"Yeah I know what you mean Sora. Leon," Kairi looked toward a drunken-silly brunette who was currently spiking his hair into a Mohawk, "what was _your _life altering moment?"

Leon drunkenly sat down and twiddled his thumbs, "Weeeeeell," his speech was slurred, "this one time I went cow tipping with his wooooman… she dumped me though so then I decided to be mean and grumpy…" Leon fell backwards and knocked out form his drunken self.

"Okaaay" Kairi looked over to Cloud, "What about you?"

"Why do girls _always _have to ask questions that make guys think?"

"I don't know." Kairi scratched her head, "Oh! I have an idea! Let us talk in song titles! And stuff…"

Leon sat back up and clapped his hands like a giddy little girl, "YAY!"

Sora stared at his girlfriend blankly, "Talk in song title and stuff?" She nodded and looked so happy that Sora had to agree to play.

"Alright, Cloud you say something that _isn't _a song title to get us started!"

"Uh… How about that Knicks game?"

"Who's that?"

"Let me redo it!"

Sora groaned and lay down on the sand.

Cloud spoke up again, "MY MARSHMALLOW IS BURNING!"

Sora jumped up, "Cloud, DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT!"

"BUURN BABY BUUURN!" Kairi cheered at the burning ball of marsh.

Cloud looked up confused then remembered this game, "No­! Ice, Ice Baby"

"One-eyed-one-horned-flying-purple-people-eater" Leon drunkenly sang. Everyone ignored him because he is a nimrod.

Riku sat up from being dead to play, "Bring Me To Life or… Join me!"

"Resurrection?" Kairi asked.

"Wouldn't it be nice?" Sora shook his head.

Cloud looked at Riku though teary eyes, "I Miss You!"

"LEAVE! GET OUT!" Riku scowled at Cloud.

Leon flailed his arms in all directions as he fell backwards off the log he was sitting on, "I'm Going Under!"

"Stop! In the Name of Love!" screamed Yuffie out of no-where.

"Something isn't right…. I can feel it again!" Sora looked at the Squaffie.

"I'm Bouncing Off The Walls again!" screeched an overly hyper Cloud who was dressed up as a woman hooker at the moment.

"Shut Up!" yelled Sora

"I Just Wanna Live!" responded Cloud

"((the other)) Shut Up!" yelled Kairi as she threw a shoe at the hooker-ish Cloud

"Where is the Love?" Cloud pouted. He then screamed as the shoe hit his eye, "I'm Not Okay!"

Leon winced at the mark that laid on Clouds forehead, "Scars…."

Cloud threw the shoe back at Kairi, "I thought Ohio is for Lovers!"

Kairi shrugged, "I don't want to be an American Idiot."

Riku giggled at Cloud then looked at his black tuxedo that he was supposed to be buried in, "Back In Black!"

Sora looked back at his friend who was sitting in the shadows in a bush, "The Reason?"

Kairi rolled her eyes, "Pssh… Basket Case."

"I'm Just A Kid!"

Cloud pointed at a woman in a pink dress and waved, "Look, Stacey's Mom!"

Yuffie stopped making out with Leon for a second, "Nah, that's Everybody's Fool." She then went back to her new boyfriend.

Then the authoress decided she did not know how to spell that womans name so she decided that it wasn't the Aeris lady it was _Seperioth _or just Sephy because the author does not like typing Seperoith (nor can she spell it). Anyway, it was _Sephy _in the pink dress.

"Welcome to _my _Life" Sephy said as he-she sat down next to the hooker-ish Cloud, "Sorry… I can't be Perfect."

"True…." Kairi said.

"It is All That I've Got" Sephy said almost sadly.

Sora bounced up from the sand, "Do You Believe In Magic?" His adorable blue eyes sparkled.

The group all looked at him, "Sora, Live Like You Were Dying."

Riku glared at all the people in the campfire's light and warmth, "Heaven's A Lie!" Then everyone stoned Riku to death because he said a very bad thing. You're not allowed to say things like that in a fan fiction!

* * *

Sephy and Cloud were dancing together in hooker-ish ways when suddenly Cloud slapped Sephy and did the whole 'Z snap' thing.

"I ain't no Hollaback Girl!"

* * *

Sora pouted watching the two squabbling off in the distance. He looked over at the Squaffie making out on the log, "Lonely I'm Mr. Lonely…."

Kairi smiled and leaned on Sora's shoulder, "We Belong Together."

Riku stood up and threw a rock at Sora's head to get his attention, "She's The Blade! And you're just _paper_!"

Sora threw a bigger rock at Riku's head, "Karma!"

Riku gasped, "Mockingbird!"

Sora stuck his tongue out at Riku, "I ain't gonna be Lonely No More!"

Riku scowled then scudded back into his dark bush, "I'm always Mr. Brightside…"

* * *

Cloud and Sephy skipped in circles, hand in hand, until the author decided to tell you all that they are not gay! Because the author decided long ago that she would not put gay people in her stories because fans requested it! And Yako wouldn't do that to her 3 fans!

So Cloud is just gender confused and Sephy is a villain so he can act like that!

Cloud kicked Sephy in the shin, "I Hate Everything About You!"

Sephy doubled-over in pain, and Cloud grabbed Sephy's too long hair, "Let Me Go!" Cloud kicked Sephy in the mouth and he cried like a baby, "So much for _My _Happy Ending.

* * *

"Sora, I felt 40 Kinds Of Sadness when you were gone" Kairi said as she snuggled up next to her boyfriend.

Sora make a weird face that was either just 'freaked-out' or 'oh-my-gosh-I-am-going-to-have-to-make-her-forget-me-because-Kingdom-Hearts-is-getting-a-sequel-so-I'll-be-leaving-soon'. But he smiled and nodded his head.

* * *

Leon soon sat up considering Yuffie had fallen asleep. He decided to become a DJ and he set of the little table thing that DJ's had.

Kairi jolted up hearing her favorite song, "SWITCH!"

**(A.N. What can I say? She's preppy!)**

So everyone, including the hooker-ish Cloud, the drunk Leon, the passed out Yuffie, the in love Kairi, the adorable Sora, Stacey's mom Sephy, and the dead Riku got up and did the Switch dance.

The Yako appeared on a flying broomstick, "We Wish You A Merry Christmas!"


	18. The EMO Song

**The Story That NEVER Ends**

**- y a k o s o k u -**

**Authors Forward **Well, see? It really hasn't ended... I just can't update as often. Main reason being I'm not as much of a hyper happy person now a days. I can only write this when I know it'll be funny and make you guys smile. I'm still looking for another person to co-write this. Any takers?

**Disclaimer: **How many times does a poor author-ess have to say she does not own the one thing in her life that is worth something? So, mmkay, I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the Emo Kidd song.

* * *

**The** brunette slopped on his messy black eyeliner and made sure to have his bangs covering exactly ONE eye. He quickly smiled at the dark image staring back at him in the mirror then slapped himself remembering that smiling was now against the rules. He wouldn't want to be a poser, now would he? Sora may seem happy and content enough, but it is all a cover up. For he is now evolved into the, currently not-so-rare, emo kidd.

But Yako- what _is _an emo kidd?

That is a great question my dear reader. I'd love to explain, but I think maybe we should let Sora explain. _In song_.

"SORA!" The angry, now auburn-haired, Yako screamed into the closet.

"Wha?" whimpered the make-up clad Sora. (WAIT! There was a mirror in the closet?)

Casting a vibrant smile, Yako nudged Sora in the side, "My very few readers would love it if you would explain what an emo kidd is."

"But Yako-" he sighed, "there is one problem with that. _Kid_ has only one 'd' and you are typing it with two."

"Be silent!" Yako then proceeded to slap Sora with an Extremely Large Fish that leaped out of her pants.

"Nemo!" screamed Cher who dashed out of the closet with Derik close behind. The pair made a conscience effort to grab the Extremely Large Fish.

Yako was forced to sweat-drop because this is visualized as an anime in her mind, "Aaanyways... where were we?"

"Spice Girls?"

"Haha, silly British birds. Enough of that. You were about to explain emo to the readers."

Sora sighed and made a poor pouty face, "But Yaaaakoooo..."

"See? You're emo already. Go!" A puff of smoke and Yako is mysteriously gone. (Cue the dramatic music).

Sora's typical high-spirited walk had downsized into an awkward lethargic slump as he progressed towards his small desk. A black book with possibly 60053436164873 band stickers on it was then opened in a rush and Sora slammed his fuzzy pink pen into his hand and furiously wrote down his angry, hormone-fed, emo thoughts.

"YOU'D BETTER SING TOO!"

-- and he sang too.

* * *

_Dear Diary, _

Mood: Apathetic

My life is spiraling downward. I couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert. It sucks cause they play some of my favorite songs like "Stab my heart because I love you" and "Rip apart my soul" and of course "Stabby rip stab stab" And It doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either…like that guy from that band can do….some days you know...

* * *

Sora started his ever-so emo ballad_ "_I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be. You'd be non-conforming too if you look just like me. I have paint on my nails and makeup on my face, I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs. Because I feel real deep when dressing in drag: I call it freedom of expression, most just call me a fag. Our dudes look like chicks and chicks look like dykes because emo is one step below transvestite

"Stop my breathing and slit my throat. I must be emo. I don't jump around when I go to shows I must be emo

"I'm dark and sensitive with low self esteem. The way I dress makes everyday feel like Halloween. I have no real problems but I like to make believe- I stole my sister's mascara now I'm grounded for a week. Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies, I just can't get through a Utada album without sobbing. Girls keep breaking up with me, it's never any fun." Poor Sora pouted and then resumed his song while scribbling away at his teeny book, "Dye in my hair and polish on my toes... I must be emo, I play guitar and write suicide notes... I must be emo"

* * *

My life is just a black abyss... y'know.. it's so dark. And it's suffocating me, grabbing a hold of me and tightening its grip, tighter than a pair of my little sisters jeans... (which look great on me by the way) Yako really isn't helping the situation. I hope she chokes.

* * *

"When I get depressed I cut my wrist in every direction. Hearing songs about getting dumped gives me an erection. I write in a live journal and wear thick rimmed glasses. I tell my friends I bleed black and cry during classes. I'm just a bad, cheap imitation of goth. I wear skin tight clothes while hating my life. If I said that I like girls I'd only be half right!" Sora smiled and sped up the emo kidd song.

"I look like I'm dead and dress like a homo! Screw xbox I play old school Nintendo! I like to whine and hate my parentals! Me and my friends all look like clones! I _must_ be emo!"

* * *

My parents don't get me ya know. They think I'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy…well, a couple guys …but still, I mean it's the 2000's, can't two…or 4 dudes make out with each other without being gay. I mean, chicks dig that kinda thing anyways. I don't know diary, sometimes I think you are the only one that gets me…you're my best friend.

_I feel like tacos..._

_

* * *

_

**And yes...** you muuust review or I will rename this "The Story That HAS Ended". Ja Ne.


	19. FBI!

**The Story That NEVER Ends**

**- y a k o s o k u -**

**Authors Forward: **MEEPH. Oh, my keyboard was in cap locks. Sorry for any typos.

**Disclaimer: **How many times does a poor author-ess have to say she does not own the one thing in her life that is worth something? So, mmkay, I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Victoria's Secret, James Bond, Gangsterr Song, or Ragg-Doll07's work. She wrote the commercial part for me.

* * *

"Well, when I was six I tried to buy a bra in Victoria's Secret and my mom wouldn't let me so I was forced to go back and steal it-" Sora was cut off.

"Yeah, me too." Riku seconded while stirring his hot chocolate

"As I was SAYING!" Sora glared at Riku, "So I had to steal it so I could... well... never mind that. So, to answer your question, yes, I am a citizen of Japan."

"We... don't generally need your entire life story. This is just a manditory visit. Everyone gets one every so often."

"Oh! I almost forgot, I got my braces stuck on an old ladies walker when I was twelve. I never gave that back to her."

"Sora... they don't need to-"

"Shhh, Riku! I'm being investigated by the FBI!"

"Errm..." The FBI agent took out some papers, mildly disturbed, "We neeed to know some background information also. We'll need to be contacting your parents. If you could please answer these questions I'll be on my w-"

"AH!" Sora grabbed the paper, "You know what? I'll write these forms myself." The agent handed over a pen, which Sora took and soon learned was empty of ink. "Oh, you are out of ink Mr..." Sora looked at his various do-dads "Mimochi. I'll go buy you a new pen right now!" With that a whirling tornado of brunette and red burst out the door.

* * *

"La de da di da. I am prancing around being gay and merry. I think I will randomly open Riku's door without knocking to see what he is up to! Kairi narrorated outloud. Yes, Kairi is saying everything you are reading. Yako is not being lazy and not putting the little thingies that go after speech. Kairi is just ditzy and stupid so she decided to narrorate EVERYTHING that goes throug her head. Kairi knocks on the door."

"Kairi hears ruffling noises!"

'Oh no...' Riku franticly dashed though his room.

"Kairi opens the door to Riku's room and-- AHHHHHHHH RIKU IS SEEN IN A WOMAN'S BRA AND UNDERWEAR!"

Riku schreeched and grabbed an article of clothing from his dresser, "I can explain!"

* * *

"LARRY-BOB-HINKLE-JOE, RUN!" Sora screamed.

Larry-Bob-Hinkle-Joe stood up alarmed, "What is it, son Sora?"

"Father, Larry-Bob-Hinkle-Joe! You must leave this instant! FBI!"

"They're on to us?"

"Run, Larry-Bob-Hinkle-Joe, RUN!"

"How'd they find us?"

"Three words: Belgian Frappuccino Disco"

"I knew my hippy days would come back to bite my rear-butt-cheek."

"Don't talk like that! We've prepared for this kind of emergency!"

"Right, son of my loins!"

"AHHHH! I DID NOT COME FROM YOUR LOIIINS!"

"Sora, son of my loins, giving birth is--"

"GET THE FBI EMERGENCY KIT!"

"Right. We will save this talk for another time. TO THE NOSE CAVE!

"Nose cave?"

"Yeah, I always got that and the bat cave mixed up."

* * *

"If normal people knew your secret you would sicken them! I must admit though, Riku-kun, I would have never imagined you were an international drag-queen." Kairi sat down, obviously she had stopped narrorating everything now, and patted Riku's fish-net covered knee.

"Yeah, sometimes it's hard to feel pretty around here. Or witty. Or even ga--" Yako fell down through the cieling and screamed to bleep Riku out.

"On one bright day, Yako sat in her computer chair to read her reviews for her first ever published story on fanfiction, The Story That NEVER Ends, which was, at the time, known as A Random Story With A Random Title. In one very special review a reviewer asked and pleaded that Yako never make Sora or Riku gay. Or lesbians. Which... well, nevermind they were illiterate. Yako, being so innocent made sure she would never do that and informed her reviewers it would never happen. Well, sorry lovlies, Riku is now a drag-queen. No, I won't make Sora and Riku make out..." she paused, "Even though some perverts might enjoy that." Yako turned into a million butterflies, just like Emily in Corpse Bride and flew off.

"Uhm... yeah. As I was saying, gay."

"After the accident I considered staying home and quitting high-school so I could just get a full-time job." Kairi said, "Riku, you just changed my entire life. You make me want to be a man."

Riku sincerely nodded and grabbed Kairi in a warm embrace, "I know Kairi, I know."

* * *

**COMMERCIAL BREAK WRITTEN BY RAGG-DOLL07**

"One night, it was July first but don't ask why! I wanted it to be."

"Why would you want it to be on July first?" Kairi asked giggling

"I want it to be. I AM the narrator, you know! I could say it was December if I wanted to! I have THAT MUCH power, Kairi. I am amazing. Let me go on with the story would you?" The narrator yelled at Kairi for being so blonde... even though Kairi has red hair.

"Like I was saying... It was July first and Kaye, Danni, and Kairi where outside making a fire." the story began only to be interrupted by Kairi once again.

"Are we pyros or what?"

"Yeah, sure... wait- WHAT?" The narrarator groaned, "You know what? Kairi, just think that. Let me go on."

"Like I was saying... What? No wait... What? Oh great what was I saying?"

"You where talking about the July first with the fire." Dani tried to refresh the narrators mind.

"OOH yes, I remember now." She clearned her throat, "The three girls where sitting on logs making s'mores--"

"Were they good?" Kairi just had to know.

"Yes, they were delicious, Kairi, now sit and listen. . . So we eat the s'mores and all the sudden Kaye looked up and screams 'OH MY GOSH KAIRI YOUR HAIR IS ON FIRE!' then the quiet one that was sitting eating her s'mores like a good little girl, Dani, screams ' EWWWWWWWWWWWWAHHHHHHHHHH' Kairi started to scream and. . ."

"Why does MY hair have to be on fire?" Kairi whined.

"Because you're tacky and I hate you. Let me finish the story! Anyway, so Kairi started scream and runs around in many circles. Then Kaye and Danni, being awesome people, yell for Kairi to stop ' Wait Kairi viciously tackled Kaye while Dani got away. That was it for poor little Kaye. She thought she would never see daylight again" She paused for a dramatic effect, "Then everything was very bright! 'Oh no it's the light IM DEAD!' Kaye screamed. Then she woke up and realized that Kairi was the one laying on the ground! 'MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA . . . IVE BEAT YOU NOW, EVIL DOER! What now? I got you! I got you! Na nanananananananana' Kaye had forgotten how to sing the little kid taunting song they learned in preschool. 'DANGIT HOWS IT GO AGAIN?'"

* * *

**BACK TO THE STORY**

"Dun nuh nuh, duh nuh nuh, nuh nuuuuh!" Sora dodge rolled down the nose cave singing the very song he was introduced with in this story, the James Bond theme song.

Larry-Bob-Hinkle-Joe dashed this way and that, "Hurry son of my loins!"

"NOT YOUR LOINS!"

"We must find my attire to blend in with the natives!"

"Right! Me too!" Sora spun around and ripped off his shirt to expose... bunny pajamas? "Oh gosh dangit..." Sora spun around and ripped off his bunny PJ's to expose... (drum roll) THE SPIDERMAN OUTFIT!

Inwardly Sora thought, 'Dang... Yako really must be desperate for ideas if she's using stupid things she's already put in the story- in the story again.' Sora pulled his mask over his face.

"Oh my gosh... what are you DOING, Larry-Bob-Hinkle-Joe?"

"I'm blending in with the groovy-keen cats."

"They're NOT cats, Larry-Bob-Hinkle-Joe!"

"Sora, of my loins, just look at all this bling!"

-"NOT LOINS!"-

"You look like a christmas tree!"

"Don't play-er hate me! Play-er-a hate somebody else!"

"What are you doing?"

"Yo yo yo, Im, Im a gangster. Yo! Where my dogs at? Bark with me if you are my dogs."

"Im going to give a shout out to all the player haters. I dont like player haters! If you're a player hater dont player hate on me, player hate somewhere else! Imma gangster im straight up G! Grr im steaming mad grrr!Imma gangster imma straight up "g"  
the gangster life is the life for me. shooting people by day selling drugs by night. being a gangster is hella tight! Im a gangster my rhymes are bad! I'm a gangster I'm iced out like a freezer! I'm a gangster I don't listen to Weezer! I dropped out of school at the age of three. Why? 'Cause all the teachers tried to player hate on me. Sisqo is my homie he's a gangster too me and Sisqo are the leaders of the gangster crew I like to be in jail and he likes to sing and dance. YAY!Some say we are the perfect match! A---"

"WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA! That is so copywrited material! You can't say that! No way. It might even be offencive, Larry-Bob-Hinkle-Joe! Stop it right now or... or..."

"You'll finish your sentence, Sora-of-my-loins?"

"NOT YOUR LOINS! You have brought the wrath of Spyderman upon you!"

"SpYderman? Don't you mean SpIderman?"

"No."

"Oh, okay then, go on."

"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!"

"Muwhahahah! Just try and stop me!"

* * *

What WILL happen to Sora?  
How will he cope with fighting  
his own father, Larry-Bob-Hinkle-Joe!  
Will he kick butt? Will he cower in fear?  
Or will he call out his secret weapon?  
Find out on the next chapter of... TSTNE!

(and Yako faints from sugar indosed hyper-ness)


	20. Conspiracy?

**The Story That NEVER Ends**

**- y a k o s o k u -**

**Authors Forward: **AHHHH NEENER! I never update. Rawr. I'm sorry, I'm still writing the next chapter of the other stories. They take time to do. Oh yeah, is anyone going to Matsuricon? I am. Fwee. Yako ish happy.

**Disclaimer: **I own my gum which is in my mouth. Not my characters in the story. Or Kingdom Hearts. I had help with the dialogue a bit too. Just so no-one sues me. Oh and the emo rangers, they're not mine. They're just too fun to resist though.

* * *

"As strange as this my sound, I swear I just saw a PINK RAPTOR just cross the road."

"Sora... are you on crack again?"

"AH! Where the HELL is my left shoelace?"

"Sora, calm thy self."

"..." Sora looked at his cat, Mr. Schnuffles, as he walked by, "The government has been in my home. They implanted one of my cats with a radio transmitter to spy on me! "

"Sora..."

"Yes, you heard correctly. My cat is now a secret government spy transmitter."

Riku walked into the room, hips swaying here and there very girlishly. He opened a compact and checked his glittery lips, "Cat transmitter - For what purpose?"

Kairi smacked her hand on her face, "Not you too, Riku! Mr. Schnuffles is not a spy transmitter!"

"There is a slim possibility that they might have implanted the transmitter in my big toe... " Sora mused as he kicked off his shoe, peering at his toe.

"You should just cut it off. That'd teach them a lesson." Said Riku.

"No, that's not right, because... it's my middle toe that hurts,not my big toe..." Sora touched his toe, "Hmm... ow."

Kairi rolled her eyes, "Sora, you have a job to do!"

Ignoring the distressed Kairi, Riku continued, "Better just cut 'em ALL off - just in case"

"Do you suppose...they might have implanted the transmitter in my middle toe to throw me off their scent?"

"What is their motive?" asked Selphie who suddenly materialized in Sora's room.

"They're bored? I don't know. It's a conspiracy, and I'm not in on it. Maybe, just maybe, I could implant a radio transmitter in THEIR radio transmitter and find out?"

"Yeah," said a dressed up Riku while sitting on the bed painting his toenails, "So what do you guys think of this look?"

"Riku, stop being a douche. Go back to normal."

"I want to be different!"

"But you have like 4351614396843065436841634321.001364650 fan girls willing and offering to have your children and you want to lose all that so sweaty old men will want to molest you?"

"... I wasn't thinking about it that way..."

There was silence.

"OOOOH," squealed Sora, "silence!"

"Satan gave me a taco and it tasted really bad. The chicken was all raw and the grease was mighty thick--"

"Ansem, shut up! We're in a crisis!"

"DON'T SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER THAT WAY!"

"Oooooh, that was a spooooolier, Ansem and Kairi, bad characters."

"Shut up, Sora."

"Awe... but I wuv you, Kairi!"

Kairi looked flushed and shook her head, "Baka..."

Suddenly an echoing noise made its way into the room, the eerie voice wailed 'loins' and Sora remembered everything. He stood up, courage in his eyes, about to face the ultimate battle, the final boss of this story so to speak. Looking Kairi in the eyes he gave her a passionate kiss which made her blush. Making his way to Riku he did the same.

"OH MY GOSH!"

"SORA, YOU'RE REALLY BI-SEXUAL?"

"No, actually Yako made me do it so she could tick off a lot of reviews and please others," he shrugged, "Its a lose-win situation. I'm really just reading my script."

"Sure. You lie."

"Yeah, I know."

Again the sound came; "Loins."

Sora stood in the middle if the room and in a great flashing emerged Sora in his SpYderman uniform as well as five Mighty Moshing Emo Rangers.

"Emo Rangers?" Asked Riku, licking his lips.

"Yeah... and five of them?" Said Kairi glaring at Riku.

"Why not?" Sora-- I mean Spyderman, said.

* * *

Will Sora prevail?  
Can he stop his father, Larry-Bob-Hinkle-Joe?  
Will the emo rangers reveal themselves?  
Will Riku change his stereotype?  
What will become of the newly developing K x R x S triangle?  
When will the next chapter be up?  
Well, I can answer that.  
Next month. Tehe.

_(Yako dances to David Bowie)_


	21. The Comeback Off

**The Story That NEVER Ends**

**- y a k o s o k u -**

**Authors Forward: **I've had the flu, a cold and _scarlet optics_ for a week now. I can now officially walk so I decided to crawl to the computer to write a new chapter. Because, you know what, I'm always funny right after I get done with being sick.

**Disclaimer: **There is more to life than owning video games or their characters. Only because we _can't _own them. Kingdom Hearts, Anchorman, Family Guy, Toilet Paper, Final Fantasy, Febreze, Special K, Zoolander, Green Tea, Mt. Vesuvius and the Emo Rangers all belong to their respective owners.

* * *

"We should all get naked," Stated a very bored looking Riku, staring at a patch of grass randomly growing in the middle of the floor.

Everyone turned around speechless to glare at the silver haired teen, "Riku! Sora has to go murder his father!"

Riku sighed, clearly giving up, "Fine…"

Sora, along with the five Mighty Moshing Emo Rangers, headed out the door, took a left, went down three flights of stairs, stopped to tie Sora's right shoelace, down another flight of stairs, into a red door, into another hallway, they took a right, went into an elevator, stopped for lunch, robbed a bank, visited Saturday Night Live, and then arrived in a stunningly white room; a very large, stunningly white room. Opposite where stood the team of Emo sat a chair facing the opposite direction.

"Larry-Bob-Hinkle-Joe! Surrender! Confess," shouted Sora, "We know who you _really are_!"

"You wouldn't _dare_ reveal me!"

"Yes I would!" Sora grinned while finishing the last of his triple chocolate, caramel, orange-mango iced frappe-latte-mocha-berry-bootylishious-white chocolate-mini-treat! "For I happen to know that I am a fatherless child! I was born of pure caffeine and alcohol abuse! You are no father of mine! You are… WILL FERRELL!"

"NO!" shouted Will Ferrell.

("Sora is a bastard child?")

* * *

"Well, I guess it started during my first year of the second grade, when I was eating lunch and caught my reflection in a spoon, and I thought to myself, 'Hey, Riku, you're ridiculously good looking! And I thought maybe I could do that for a career."

"Do what for a career?" asked Riku's auburn haired companion.

"Be professionally good looking."

"So…" Kairi began, "you want _me_ to help _you_ break into a modeling agency… set it on _fire-"_

"No, Kairi, just the model's portfolios!"

"Right. Set the model's portfolios on fire; put your pictures… of yourself… on an executive's desk and… Wait… What?"

"We're going to kill the Malaysian Prime Minister."

"WHAT?"

* * *

"Sora, I challenge you… to a comeback… off."

"And I'll bet you a shrieking gnome that I'll win."

Will gasped, "You _own_ one of those magnificent creatures?"

"And a dancing lemon too. Oh yeah, and this one hamburger in my fridge… I think his name is Gwen. Either that or Hammy."

"And when _I_ win, I'll marry your little housewife, Kairi. We're gonna to get married on top of a mountain, and there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises! And then our children will form a family band! And we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited!"

"You are a smelly ninja hooker!"

"You look like a strawberry!"

Sora gasped, looking down at his huge baggy red pants, "Well you are a whore! A dirty, dirty whore!"

"AM NOT!"

"Why don't you go back to your home on WHORE ISLAND?" taunted Sora.

"I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany!"

'This is getting fierce' thought Sora inwardly.

* * *

"Riku, there's a naked man on this cake."

Riku began to reply to Kairi when suddenly Derik waltzed out of the bathroom, "Damn the toilet. It's made slaves of you all. It just sits there consuming other people's feces while contributing nothing of its own to society."

"Uhm…" Kairi said, shoving the cake away from her and moving away from Derik, "you know what? Never mind…. Never mind."

* * *

Sora was on the floor, gasping for breath, the battle was tied and both were 'burned' quite badly. Sora knew this could be the end for him. He took a deep breath knowing it very well could be his last. He had run out of come backs. He knew that it was his last resort and pulled one feeble attempt at a comeback. It was weak, very worn out, but he had no choice.

"Your," Sora coughed up blood and gasped for air, "…mother…" Sora fell unconscious while Will simultaneously combusted into a roaring pit of Hell-fire.

* * *

The battle has been won. Larry-Bob-Hinkle-Joe  
or, might I say, Will Ferrell, has been vanquished.  
Derik has returned. Riku is no longer a transvestite.  
Kairi... still isn't dead. Crap. I really need to kill her.  
You know what? That is what I'll do next.  
Until next time...  
READ AND REVIEW!


	22. Neenah

**The Story That NEVER Ends**

**- y a k o s o k u -**

**Authors Forward: **I'm trying, I'm really _trying_ to update more often but school is a witch. I might update over Spring Break again if I'm struck with inspiration… if not then I'll update as soon as possible. Now, if you people were _nice_ and reviewed a lot I'd update a heck of a lot quicker.

**Disclaimer: **La de da. I don't technically own any of these video games, I mean, I didn't _create_ them but I _own_ the games. So how do you all like KH2? I got it early. Makes me uber gleeful.

* * *

"WOOGIE WOOGIE WHO BUH DAH GAH!" chanted Sora while swaying the rather large pine tree branch over the sewer drain. Beside our brunette hero sat Riku in a formal headdress drawing with chalk around the drain. Carefully placed were neon beads strung on leather braids and a cage with a small white mouse sat beside Riku. 

"What are you idiots doing _now_?" asked Kairi while dashing to save the pitiful mouse from being dropped down into the sewer.

Sora shrieked and dropped his branch and Riku jolted up to stare wide-eyed as the mouse was saved. Sora's eyes watered and he buried his face into his best friends shoulder. The young man sobbed.

"Wha-?"

Riku angrily threw off his sacrificial headdress, "Now you've _really_ done it, Kairi!"

"Huh?" She placed the mouse in the little cage and brushed her hands off on her skirt.

"Neenah!" screamed Sora.

"Who's…Nina?"

"NO NEENAH!"

"Okay… Who is Neenah then?"

Riku pointed to the sewer grate, "_She_ is Neenah."

"Oh my Spira, you named the sewer?"

Sora gasped, "BLASPHEMER! How dare you speak of Neenah, the sewer goddess, in that manner! DARK SIDED! DARK SIIIDED!"

Kairi stood mouth agape to look at the serious faces on Riku and Sora. Riku picked up his headdress and started working on the elaborate designs on the concrete surrounding the sewer. Sora shook his head in anger at Kairi then went around the surrounding grass area to pick up some blue flowers before bowing and offering them to Neenah as an apology gift.

"Sora… what the _hell_ are you doing?"

"_You're_ the one who screws _everything_ up! First you have to get your heart all stolen then you have a Nobody that steals _my_ Nobodies memory and you make me fall in love with you and you're a dirty slut as it is! YOU RUIN MY LIFE! AND NOW YOU HAVE DISPLEASED NEENAH! We're going to have fourteen harsh winters now!"

"Sora…" Kairi tried to ignore his hurtful comments, "we live on a tropical island… our winters are like 80 degrees…"

"BLASPHEMER!"

Riku frantically tackled Sora and his headdress tipped off his silver head once again, "SORA! WE DON'T HAVE TIME! NEENAH IS GETTING UPSET!"

Sora gave one last hurtful look to Kairi before nodding and reading a piece of paper given to him by Riku. He looked up from the paper then back to Kairi.

"Neenah calls for blood. You have stolen the sacrificial mouse. Kairi, according to our Pastapraterianistic laws you will now be slaughtered by stale foods to please Neenah." Sora shut the book and Riku sadly nodded.

"In Neenah we trust." Encouraged Riku.

"You guys cannot be serious!" wailed Kairi. But before she could protest any more she was being shackled to the sewer grates and Riku was dancing and rattling some form of an African maraca.

Sora shook his head and started pegging the stale provisions at Kairi, "DIEEEE!"

"What happened to the little Sora I used to baby-sit and make Jell-O for?"

Sora paused, "Yes… Jell-O..."

"And we named Bikus!"

Riku stopped dancing, "My… my children…"

Sora turned around, "No they weren't. They were Leo's kids. They're your nieces and nephews."

"SAME DIFFRENCE!"

"A-and we rode on the pink dragon and we ate tacos and met Emilia!"

Sora looked to his feet remembering his personal Lenore, "… Emilia…"

"AND THINK OF ALL THE OTHER FAN FICTIONS WITH US IN IT! YOU CAN'T JUST _KILL_ ME!"

Sora smiled, "Yes we can!" Riku nodded, smiling.

"Ugh, whatever."

And so finally Kairi was killed! Yay!

* * *

The chapter is over… and… it wasn't funny.  
Sadly enough the sewer thing was from real life.  
NO.  
I didn't worship Neenah.  
But… I found other people doing that  
...at school…  
So, yeah, Neenah is real.  
And Kairi is probably going to come back.  
I like hating her.  
Review and maybe I'll give you a real chapter.  
(:


	23. Kairi Smashed and Homosexuals

**The Story That NEVER Ends**

**- y a k o s o k u -**

**Authors Forward: **I admit that I suck at updating. Yeah and this chapter is sort of random. The plot is basically that there really isn't one. Oh yes, and be wary of this chapter if gayness is bad to you. Alright, you were warned.

**Disclaimer: **I don't officially own these games. They pwn at life. And I rather don't so of course they belong to Squaresoft and Disney. Yay Squaresoft and Disney! Oh, the Roxas thing… not mine. Or Charlie quotes. Or anything else you find I guess.

* * *

"Hello all," smiled our brunette hero, "and welcome to a special chapter where we randomly do everything Yako has planned on doing in this story sooner or later, RIGHT NOW!"

"Fwee!" squealed Riku.

* * *

"This is a letter from an anonymous fan who wishes to know if Sora is attracted to Roxas?" Carefully read the fiery red-head from the paper.

"Well," smiled Sora, "you have to admit, Roxas is a sexy beast, am I right? Can I get an amen? UP TOP BROTHER!"

"Sora… no."

"Ehhh, cool your jets down dawg, we homies just chillin', you hip to my jive? You cool wit mah turkey? You ain't all that and a bag of tay-toe chips. "

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, home-sl-ICE, don't be dissin' my rap."

"Sora, stop it, you're not black."

"Oh, or am I?"

"Sora, you're the whitest boy I've ever met. Answer the damn question so we can move on!"

"Sheesh. Well, I _said_ Roxas was sexy."

"Whoa," explaimed Riku, "what would happen if you and Roxas…"

"Oh my God."

"Would that be incest? Or rape? Or sex? Or…" Kairi shivered.

"No, my bet would be mastur-"

"AH SORA NO THERE ARE VIRGIN EARS!" screamed Riku as he pounced on his brunette friend.

Sora looked up at the muscular Riku laying on his chest and innocently brushed one finger across his older friends chin and giggled, "Who wants a beard?"

Riku blushed, "Well, beatniks for one, folk singers and motorbike riders. Y'know. All those hip, jazzy, super cool, neat, keen, and groovy cats. It's in the fridge, daddy-o! Are you hip to the jive? Can you dig what I'm layin' down? I knew that you could. Slide me some skin, soul brother!"

"EW, RIKU, NO!" screamed Sora as he pushed Riku off him, "This is some shit, up with which I will not put."

"Yay verily?"

Sora winked and walked out of the room, hips swaying.

* * *

"Uhhh…" Kairi twitched, "Please tell me he isn't seriously…"

"Nope." smiled Riku, "just Bi. Now everyone can be happy."

Kairi looked at her lap in disbelief, "Damn. I need a drink." She stood and walked out the door to the local pub.

"What the fuck?" Riku screamed at the door after her, "I thought we fricking killed her LAST chapter! Wait… where's Sora?" Riku smirked and walked out the door...

* * *

"AH, RIKU, IT'S HURTING ME!" moaned Sora.

"Shut up, it only lasts for a second and then it's like its not even there. You're doing good." Riku said as quietly as he could.

Tears pricked at Soras eyes as he bit his lip silencing another moan.

* * *

"Kairi. Kairi! You're drunk. Now lets get you back to the house." Slowly said Roxas.

Kairi laughed and fell off the bar stool onto the blonde haired kid, "I made you a painting. I call it "Titillation." It's sexual and violent and makes me hot and bothered."

The boy appeared flushed, "Kairi, you're smashed."

"And you're sexy."

"Really, really, really smashed." corrected the blonde.

"Roxas, you are my bitch lover! I mean, we're buddies! We are buddies. You're my best friend. Just you and me, pal. You and me; best friends."

Roxas sighed, "Alright, Kairi, I'm going to take you h-o-m-e now, okay? We'll bake cakes and watch cartoons."

Kairi giggled, "Alright Roxie-Woxie."

Roxas shook his head, "Why the HELL did I have to get pulled into this story now?" And so Roxas picked up the drowsy, drunken Kairi and dragged her home to lay her down on the nearest couch.

Soon she awakened to a weary pair of blue eyes, "Kiss meeeee!" 

Roxas blushed, flustered, "Kairi. You're smashed more than Smash Mouth or the Smashing Pumpkins." (WTF?)

"Fine then! I'll be in my room! PAINTING HOMO THINGS!" Fumed the red-head as Roxas collapsed onto the couch, exhausted.

* * *

Sora laid down, panting, "Wow, I was scared at first but now that it's over with… it was pretty amazing! I'm really glad that you were the one to do this. You were so great."

Riku blushed, sitting down next to his companion, brushing his mussed hair out of his eyes, "I'm not that good. You get better with experience. And you were a good boy, too." smiled the boy with the silver hair.

Sora giggled, flashing a smile, "I want to learn how to do it the same way you do!"

Riku blushed and ruffled the boys hair affectionately, "I'm really not _that_ great at it. Honestly."

"I thought so. You're amazing at giving shots, Riku!" Sora sighed contently, "It didn't hurt after a second, just like you said! But I don't think I'd like getting one more than once a year or I'd get sore."

"Well if you didn't play with rusty spoons you wouldn't have even needed this one. By the way… why _were_ you playing with rusty spoons?"

Sora blushed, "I'll tell you when I'm older!"

* * *

XD Okay, I admit that amused me slightly.  
I figure I was the only one.  
Yes, read my page too for mroe info on  
some important things reguarding the stories  
so you dont spazz or anything.  
Until next time. Uhm. Bye. (:


	24. UNICORNS!

**The Story That NEVER Ends**

**- y a k o s o k u -**

**Authors Forward: **I TOTALLY got all of you last chapter. Perverts… Haha. I'm going to try something new this chapter because… it's new… OH! And if any of you read The Girl at the Rock Show, go re-read it. It's changed. A LOT. I'll be updating it fairly soon. Yeah and don't assume I'm dead. I've TOLD you. This is the story that NEVER ends. Maybe delayed upppdates but it won't end. I'll be 50 still writing this, promise. :P

**Disclaimer: **I don't really own anything. Not Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy or uhhhh… beer?

* * *

"Holy fuck, wait a God damn minute! Slow the fuck down, am I hearing correctly?"

Sora sat on a circular rug playing with a small action figure of himself and Roxas while Riku reclined leisurely in an over-stuffed couch and yawned, nodding to the spazzing red head.

"HOW THE HELL DID SORA GET ELECTED PRESIDENT!? DOES JAPAN EVEN _HAVE_ PRESIDENTS?"

"CHOO-CHOO!" squealed Sora, lying on his tummy on the rug with his toy box.

"Well, if they don't then they do now." Roxas said while leaning up against the doorframe of the room, a blonde girl crawling past him made her way to Sora and giggled, clapping her hands.

"May I join you?" she asked.

Sora nodded vigorously and smiled, "Uh course, Namine!" And so the two young people played.

Kairi rolled her eyes at Riku, "You honestly think Sora is old enough to be a _president_? AND YOU!" she said, snapping her head round to look at Roxas, "Why in the name of Spira are you dressed in a _pink_ kimono? And why is your obi tied… Oh Mylanta… Roxas… you're a…?"

Roxas looked down horrified at his work attire, a silken pink kimono embroidered with deep scarlet and golden cranes. He touched a hand to his face to wipe off remnants of the white paste and red lip color. He blushed in shame and self-consciously touched his front-tied obi.

Kairi sat down on the floor and stared wide-eyed at the blonde boy, "I can't fucking believe this. I'm living with a drag queen with silver hair, a fifteen year old president who acts like he's three, a geisha and his pet rock."

"HEY! I'M NOT A… waaaait. Wait. Uhm… what were we talking about?" Namine blankly stated.

"I rest my case."

"I'm going to bed now. AND AXEL STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME WHEN I'M SLEEPING. Sick fuck. Yes, I know you're hiding being that cardboard cut-out of Justin Timberlake."

"Awww maaaan!" Axel stood, snapping fingers like the idolized fox from some TV show about an overweight Mexican larva.

Kairi glared and slammed her door shut.

Riku sighed, pulling off his reading glasses and carefully folding his paper. Flicking his hair he turned to see Namine making the Sora and Roxas dolls smash together as she made obscene noises. Sora had since left his seat playing on the rug with his blonde companion.

"Shit." Riku dashed around the small home looking for the gravity-defying brown spikes. Finally spotting him with a phone and chatting it up Riku screamed.

"SORA STOP BOTHERING THE PIZZA HUT YOU'LL GET ARRESTED!"

"Riku, Riku, Riku, simple-minded little Riku-kun. I'm not bothering them!"

He sighed in temporary relief.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING TO THEN!?"

"I'm ordering starving Chinese children." Sora said a thank-you and good-bye into the receiver and then turned to Riku, "God, Riku, I'm 15 years old. I'm president. I'm old enough to make my own decisions! RESPECT MY AUTHORITY!"

"Sora… please tell me you're kidding."

"I've already named them, they're going to stay."

"Good Lord… what on Spira did you name them?"

"Chuck Norris and Optimus Prime."

"Holy fuck. SORA!"

The young President smiled making double peace signs with his fingers.

* * *

"AXEL, OHMYGOSH COME OVER HERE!" Roxas flailed his thin pale arms frantically with excitement, his feet bouncing off the floor, blue eyes fixated with desire on an oddly shaped crystal.

Axel groaned and tossed himself out of his comfy bed. He rubbed his face and scowled at Roxas' elation.

"What the fuck do you want?"

Roxas smiled and danced underneath the rainbow spurting from the crystal.

"What in the…?"

"I HAVE TO THINK SELFLESS THOUGHTS! If I do, a magical unicorn will appear and grant me with a gift of MAGICALNESSICITY!"

Axel raised a brow, "What are you on? I want some."

"NO, NO, NO! No drugs! UNICORNS!"

"Roxas… I don't think a-

A furry pink unicorn with a yellow horn galloped into the room from the rainbow and neighed, flippantly showing off its iridescent mane and tail.

"Well HEEEEEELLOOOOOO!" said the Unicorn.

"UNICORN YAY!" Squealed Roxas as he fell to his knees awestruck.

"No… way…" Axel still sat in bed, his eyes the size of watermelons. Really great big watermelons. The kind that's always a lot bigger and more colorful when it's in season. By the look of it I'd assume it was probably in season. It was the kind of watermelon you wanted when you were really hot and thirsty in the summertime. The kind you would gladly fight for to defend its honor. The kind you could take home to your parents and gladly introduce as the Watermelon. The kind you would fall in love with and eventually, have a rabid0wild sex party with. The special kind of watermelon you could grow old with and then you would cry when it finally withered away.

Yeah.

It was _that kind_ of watermelon.

Roxas chanted and skipped along the unicorn, praising it non-stop.

"Oh, do stop it, young Lad!" said the Unicorn.

"Unicornnn!" Roxas smiled, love-struck, "Don't I get a gift?"

"But of course!"

"YAY!"

The Unicorn whinnied and shoved its horn into Roxas' forehead.

"Hehe. It tickles!" Roxas clapped his hands.

"Oh mylanta…" Axel was all like WHATTHEFUCK? You know that kind of wha—

Yako was abruptly slapped and continued.

The horn was removed and Roxas stood there disoriented.

A glow sprouted from his forehead, soon followed by a horn.

"MY VERY OWN UNIHORN!"

Roxas smiled.

The Unicorn ran back to Candy Mountain.

Axel went back to sleep.


	25. Rose of SHANNON

**- y a k o s o k u -**

**Authors Forward: TOLD YOU TOLD YOU TOLD YOU.**

**Dedicated to: **Shannon... because of this conversation

**Lanky Lizardsss**: i will write you a raunchy cross-over fic  
**LuckyxStarx3Deck**: LOL I WANT THAT  
**Lanky Lizardsss**: i will seriously do it right now  
**LuckyxStarx3Deck**: do it  
**Lanky Lizardsss**: tell me setting  
**LuckyxStarx3Deck**: its in the far future  
**LuckyxStarx3Deck**: robots join in for orgys

**Disclaimer: **I don't really own anything. Not Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy or uhhhh… beer? I own Shannon.

* * *

His mako-colored eyes scanned her lithe form as she delicately picked up several bolts dropped from an overeager robot child.

"Say, Cloud…"

"Hm?" He was desperately trying to shield his own overeager 'child' as she turned around.

She giggled, flashing pearly rows of teeth. A sudden and violent wind tossed flower-petals around the room, flowers and wing entangling in her long brown hair. A nearby robot flashed red sirens, a sure sign that rain would soon pour down.

"Would you care to go eat some spaghetti, Cloud? The Gehybot seems to think it will rain soon…" She smiled.

"Mm." Cloud, a man of very few words, then smiled and reached for his companion's hand.

* * *

"This is so quaint!" Cloud grinned to see her so happy. As she stepped forward into the bistro, a small child pulled on her white dress, demanding a look at the flowers in her hair.

"Please! Please!"

She smiled. She was so kind. Bending forward, her breasts exposed themselves in all their glory. Cloud was salivating.

Standing up, she gave him a questioning look before grabbing his hand.

* * *

The bistro was dark and smoky. A spike-headed boy and his small red-haired companion were sitting at the bar ordering plate after plate of mashed potatoes. It seemed as if they were accompanied by Cher… and an oversized key? With a moustache? Cloud shrugged and looked toward his date.

"Would you like to try my fish?"

He nearly spit out his water, "YOUR _WHAT_?" His eyes bulged… and so did his pants.

While taking a sip of her water, she felt pressure against her thigh. The sudden sensation made the water spill all over her white top, "Oh no!"

"Oh… no…" Cloud could feel himself growing.

"Have you ever noticed," she said, oblivious, "that my eyes are fierce?"

'Oh… I have noticed a lot of fierce parts of your body…' thought Cloud.

She smiled as the WaiterBot arrived and beeped out, "MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDERS, HUMANS?"

"Yes, we will have the spaghetti!"

'I would like to do you in the spaghetti…' thought Cloud

Yako dropped her magic wand and then apologized for this really not funny at all chapter then exclaimed, "I AM IN COLLEGE SO BLAME THEM FOR USING MY BRAIN CELLS. NOW TIMEE FOR THE BOW CHICKA WOW WOW."

* * *

Cloud ripped off her white dress, eyeing her supple breasts. 'The twins,' he thought!

"DO ME IN THE SPAGHETTI, CLOUD! THE LEFTOVERS! THEY ARE IN THE FRIDGE!"

Cloud ran off eagerly.

'This way my bloodz will mix with the tomato sauce and no one will know!' thought the brown-haired beauty.

Cloud arrived, leftovers in hand, and kissed her swollen lips. He dumped the contents of the small white box onto the bed. (THIS IS CALLED SPLOOSHING, MY READERS!)

Clad only in his clothes, Cloud fondled every inch of his dear friend's body. The pink bow in her hair came loose in his caress and her caramel nougat eyes lingered over his… overeager child.

"His name is Wilson," cooed Cloud, seductively.

"I want to pet Wilson…" she chimed in

AND THAT'S IT CAUSE THIS IS JUST WEIRD YAY


End file.
